


Trust Me

by TK_DuVeraun



Series: Reflections (OT-era) [1]
Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure and Drama, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Force History, F/M, Sith doing Sith things, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, lore wank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 34,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22303708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_DuVeraun/pseuds/TK_DuVeraun
Summary: When he arrives on Zeffo, Cal finds a young woman dying of Force exhaustion. She needs the Zeffos' Force knowledge to truly save her life. Together they will uncover the mysteries of the lost race. Cere is reasonably suspicious, but concedes the help is worth it, so long as she stays off the Mantis and doesn't ask questions about Bogano.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/OC
Series: Reflections (OT-era) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639093
Comments: 114
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back on my bullshit! I'm not going to bury the lead on this one: just have fun!

Zeffo was, quite literally, freezing. Snow was piled in the abandoned village and even shielded from the cold in a rundown… control room of some kind in the mountain Cal was freezing. He stuck his bare right hand under his left armpit and breathed through his poncho. At his side, BD-1 chirped and trilled. In response, he said, “A turbine facility? Think we should activate the console?”

At the droid’s agreement, Cal switched the system over to low-power and fiddled with the settings until it agreed to run. “If we stay long enough, we’ll be able to light up the whole system… If that would help.”

BD chirped and then hopped to the metal grate Cal stood on. He let out a few beeps and whistles before leaving to scan ahead.

“Thanks, buddy! Even with my lightsaber lit, it’s hard to see,” Cal said. The surrounding consoles gave more specific control over individual turbines and the one on the opposite side designated where the stored power was sent. A power grid might be as close to a map as he could find short of stealing one off of a stormtrooper. “Hey, that’s an idea.”

A series of alarmed trills and beeps forced Cal into a run.

“A what? Are they alive? What do you mean the stimpack isn’t doing anything?” Cal fell to his knees and slid the last few feet to the limp body BD found. A fallen flashlight lit their face. She was a human with deathly white skin, but tiny clouds of fog formed as she continued to exhale. Her hair was red, but instead of being, well, normal like his, it was the color of fresh blood, making her a ghastly sight. Two of BD’s stims were stuck empty, but ineffectual into her neck. “Hey, wake up!”

He reached for her shoulder and blacked out under the rush of feelings and memory bleeding out of her Life Force. With an effort that made his stomach heave in protest, Cal pushed his psychometry to the side and grabbed her shoulder. She didn’t respond to a shake, or to being turned onto her back. The edges of her lips, uncovered by makeup, were blue. “Wake up! I don’t know how to help you.”

BD caught his attention with a few words in binary. When Cal looked over, he had one metal foot pointed at the woman’s waist. There, attached to her belt, was a lightsaber. Heart in his throat, he glanced back at her clothing, but no, she wore civilian’s clothing with thick trousers and a coat that probably did a good job of hiding the lightsaber. The weapon itself was… something. The casing was made of arcetron, but it was cut through with a delicate lace design of runes. It glowed a soft, ice-cube through the cuts, but the light dimmed with the woman’s heartbeat. 

“So you’re a Jedi, too, on the run.” He patted her cheek to rouse her, even though each touch made his mind flinch and protest from the feel of her. “I knew the Purge was bad for everyone, but… I’m sorry. You need to wake up. Come on.”

At a loss, Cal pulled off his poncho and wrapped her in it. It didn’t help. He pulled her into his lap and his breath caught at how  _ small _ she was. He wasn’t the tallest guy around and he’d bet credits he didn’t have that she wouldn’t pass his shoulder. 

BD shifted from foot to foot and let out a few beeps and whistles.

“She’s not a droid, BD. She doesn’t have batteries.” When BD insisted, Cal, apologized to the woman and pinched her cheek. “See? Plump, not starving. She’s not even dehydrated. This isn’t real sleep, this is-” Cal cut himself off with a gasp and pressed his hands over her collarbones. “It’s Force exhaustion!”

White light glowed between his fingers as he pushed as much of his Life Force into her as he could spare. Within moments, tension returned to her slack muscles and color returned to her cheeks. She took a deep breath, wheezing like an old bellows, and then opened her eyes, the same ice-blue as the design on her saber.

“I am alive?”

“Yeah… Yeah, you- Oh, sorry.” Cal jerked his hands off her. “I’m, ah, I’m Cal Kestis, a Jedi-”

She covered his mouth with her tiny hand. Her eyebrows, dark and red, were pulled down and tight. “That is your real name, too? You idiot. Are you trying to get killed?” She dropped her arm and pulled it back under his poncho with a shiver. “The less we know of each other, the less we can betray to those that wish to harm us.”

“I… I’m sorry. You were dying.” It didn’t make a lot of sense, but Cal’s head was swirling and he felt weak from the drain on his Life Force. 

“Yes.” She tried to push herself out of his lap, her face twisted and tight with effort, but gave it up. Breathing heavily and with her eyes closed, she said, “You can call me Cass. The Empire is here. We will wish for death if we are caught.”

“What were you doing that gave you Force exhaustion?”

Cass’ eyes cracked open and she gave him a sharp look before relaxing. “Sleeping.”

“Sleeping.” Cal looked at BD and the droid just gave him a mechanical shrug.

“To make an analogy… I cracked the cup that holds my Life Force. I must consciously hold it in at all times, so…”

Cal nodded. “So when you fell asleep you lost control and it started draining and then you couldn’t wake up. I didn’t know it was possible to injure yourself like that.” He planted his hands on the cold flooring as a compromise between letting them hover awkwardly and not touching her. 

“My-” Cass winced. “The one who trained me, when he died, he cast certain protections on me. They saved me from certain death, but now I am utterly alone.”

“That’s not true.” Cal took her wrist and gently moved her hand until it was over her saber hilt. “He gave you this, didn’t he? You were the most important thing to him in the entire galaxy.” Tears welled in Cal’s eyes and the feelings associated with her saber warmed his heart.

“Why do you sound so…” She tensed, looked at his ungloved hand and then rolled off his lap. She managed to get to her hands and knees where she stared at him like cornered prey. “You are Kiffar!”

Cal jumped to his feet. “Hey, what? No!” BD beeped in support. “I’m as much a human as anyone! No one knows why I have psychometry and- Hey! What’s wrong with Kiffar anyway?”

“They are thought to be the origin of Dark Side corruption. The Life Force they consume from others carries some of the victim’s essence twists their-”

“Victims? I didn’t consume anything! I couldn’t have stopped the reading if I tried!”

Cass sagged, pressing her forehead to the floor as she panted. “You are right. You saved me. I must seem terribly ungrateful.”

Gloved hand held out placatingly, Cal said, “Hey, it’s okay. You just woke up from severe Force exhaustion. Of course you’re rattled.”

With painstaking slowness, Cass pushed off the floor and shifted her body until she was sitting up, leaned against a metal wall. She pressed the heel of her hand to the bridge of her nose. “I hadn’t slept for the last year.”

“You’ve been like this for a year?!”

Her face crumpled, as if the question hit her as a physical blow. With the color returned to her face, it was clear that her skin was covered with thin, jagged scars. Force lightning. “I can reach a deep-enough meditative state that I do not go mad from the insomnia, but it cannot continue. Hence, here I am.”

“You think something here on Zeffo can heal you?”

“Unlike modern races, the zeffo were majority Force users. Such a condition might be so rare as to be unbelievable for us, but in their population? There is a chance.”

Cal couldn’t stop his head from shaking. “That’s all you have to go on?”

“Should I let death take me and be reunited with the Force?”

“I- I keep putting my foot in my mouth.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I… am also looking for… particular… Force knowledge. We can look together. And even if there’s no cure right away, maybe we’ll find something that lets you get some sleep.”

“You are a fool to believe my story is the truth.” Cass shook her head.

“Trust is just another kind of hope, right? If I can’t hope, then…”

The ghost of a smile pulled at her mouth, but it was stiff, as if she was unfamiliar with it. “So be it, then, Cal Kestis. We work together.”


	2. Chapter 2

Cal left Cass wrapped in his poncho in the turbine facility and slipped back into the abandoned village to find her campsite. She’d marked it on BD-1’s map, but it was cut into the cliffside below the village. “Cere?”

“Whatcha got, Cal?” Her voice came from his earpiece, just barely louder than the wind. 

“There’s another Jedi here.”

“What? Are you sure?”

Cal nodded to himself and then checked his position on the map. The stormtroopers hadn’t sent reinforcements since he’d cleared the village, but it was only a matter of time. He approached the low wall that blocked off the cliff’s edge. “I’m sure. Her name is Cass. Cere, she’s covered in Force lightning scars and when I touched her… I never wished I could turn off my psychometry so much before.”

“Be careful. If she was tortured by the Inquisitors, we may not be able to trust her.”

“Trust me,” Cal said. With deliberate movements, he slipped over the edge of the cliff, using the Force to strengthen his grip on the stone. He kicked the rock wall until his foot went through the illusion hiding Cass’ camp. “I haven’t told her anything about our mission or Bogano and I don’t plan to.”

BD chirped into the comm unit as Cal secured Cass’ packs to his back.

“See? And BD won’t play Cordova’s recordings if she’s around, either. She doesn’t know about you or the Mantis. All I told her is that I’m here searching for some of the Zeffos’ lost knowledge.” Cal grit his teeth and pulled himself back up the side of the cliff. “She was dying, what was I supposed to do?”

“What attacked her? I haven’t heard anything about a female Force user in the Imperial chatter.”

“She’s sick. That’s why she’s here. I’ve got it under control. This place is crawling with stormtroopers, I probably wouldn’t get very far without help, anyway.” Cal pulled a nutribar out of his own supplies and bit in.

“Alright, Cal. I trust you. Just remember that I won’t be much help from here.”

The call cut out and Cal jogged back to the turbine facility to find Cass. He found her sitting in seiza with invisible power swirling around her. Her ponytail, long enough to reach the floor, hovered in the air, brown strands twisting in midair. He waved one hand through the power and waited for her to notice him. He stared into her eyes when they opened, but they were still blue, not the slightest hint of yellow.

“Feeling any better?”

“Much.” She traded his poncho for her packs and strapped them over her coat. “The Force is strong and deep on this world.” Somehow, she seemed shorter standing than she had curled on the floor. Despite being the size of a child, there was no mistaking her for one with her hard, mature features and perfect, if small, proportions. 

“Do you know where you want to start looking?” Cal asked. In his head, he tried to think of a way to phrase it that wouldn’t reveal he was following clues from a Jedi master.

Cass dug into her coat’s pocket and pulled out a small E&M field meter. “There was an ancient inscription in the village that spoke of knowledge being the balance of weather, so I have been making my way to the heart of the storm. It did not start without intervention.”

“Great, that’s where I’m going, too. I saw a Republic transport ship leaving earlier. Uh-” Cal hestitated and then reworded what he was about to say. “Comms chatter said it was headed for the Emperor on Coruscant. He may have an interest on Zeffo, too.”

“Those enamored with the Dark Side are obsessed with predominantly Force Sensitive races. They should realize that there is a commonality between them: they have all perished.” Cass shook her head. “It would be more suspicious if the Emperor did not have an interest here.”

Together they left the facility, coming out on an icy mountainside. Cal’s boots crunched in the snow, but Cass’ steps were silent and left no footprints. When the path narrowed, she let him take the lead and followed with her attention on the E&M scanner. “The settlements and paths are built like a maze. They prevent direct travel to the eye of the storm.”

“Do you think that was on purpose?”

“Yes. The Zeffo are well-known for designing even basic tasks to require the use of the Force.”

“Well-known by who? I’d never even heard about the Zeffo until- Well, a few days ago.” Cal looked over his shoulder and saw she was frowning.

“I… Well, I suppose I am a bit of a Force historian.” She hid her mouth and nose in the collar of her coat.

“A bit! You seem to know everything about them. You can even read the old inscriptions!”

“It was never my intent to become a scholar. I was trained for the sword before anything else.”

“That explains why your master helped you make such a fancy lightsaber.” He wasn’t so oblivious that he missed her discomfort with the conversation, so Cal changed the subject. “Anyway, even if it is a maze, how does that require the Force? You just follow the right-hand wall, right?”

“It is difficult to explain. Give me a moment.”

Before she came up with an explanation, Cal spotted a group of stormtroopers with their commander. A rocket launcher trooper stood with their back to the duo, but the rest would be able to engage the moment they stepped out. He turned to Cass and used Basic Sign Language to say,  _ There are seven of them. _ The message was simple enough she should have been able to figure it out.

_ You know sign? _ Cass’ movements were confident and precise, made even clearer with her fingerless gloves.

_ Yes. Later. _ Cal stared at his hands for a moment, trying to fit her ability to understand BSL into his mental dossier. Though, he supposed it wasn’t so strange. He’d learned it from the Order, too.  _ I’ll take care of the rocket first. Can you distract the commander? _

_ On your move. _

Cal burst around the corner in a flurry of motion, drawing his saber and cutting down the rocket trooper in a single strike. He heard a scream and saw the commander flying through the air out of the corner of his eye. To their credit, the remaining soldiers didn’t panic, but their rifles were a poor match for Cal’s lightsaber. Cass finished off two more with a combination of Force pushes and pulls.

“I thought you were trained for the sword?” Call said. He deactivated his saber and returned it to his belt as he caught his breath.

_ Things happened, _ Cass’ gestures were sharp. “More than my Life Force was injured.”

“Right. Of course. I’m sorry. But hey, we both speak BSL! That’ll make things really smooth.”

“Indeed.” She showed him the screen of the E&M reader. “It looks as if we are close.”

Cal looked from the reader to the area around them. There was no obvious pathway out, but it was supposed to be a maze. Frowning, he scanned the area again. While it was mostly walled in, several areas had no protection, leading to sheer drops or slopes of ice.

Cass walked to the edge of an unwalled area and looked down. She pointed to a slope of ice. “This is what I meant. The Force masters would build and destroy ice bridges leading toward the eye of the storm. A path that one day lead you to their enclave would another send you to your death.”

“Can you feel where we’re supposed to go? It’s, uh, not exactly safe for me to meditate on it.”

Instead of questioning what he meant, Cass pointed to a rope strung up over one of the gaps. “I suspect the Empire has found the way for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine that Sign Language in Star Wars would vary by race as well as other factors, given the number of fingers is variable, among other things, but Human Basic Sign Language was a little much. Anyway, we continue to move ever onwards! 
> 
> This fic is a great excuse to replay the game, too.


	3. Chapter 3

“Do you really think the Zeffo went through this slip and slide kark every time they wanted to go into town?” Cal shook out his legs, flinging water drops everywhere. On his shoulder, BD beeped agreement.

“Certainly not. We are traveling to their center of knowledge and learning, not the… The canteen!” Cass shoved her hands into her coat pockets. This close to the eye of the storm, wind whipped her hair every which way, including into Cal’s face. “Force masters are known to languish for years in meditative states with no need to eat or drink. For a race like the Zeffo, who knows how long they would hide away without contact.”

“But you said the route would change from day to day.”

“Have you seen the sun set?”

“Well- That’s a good point. I had to sit through a lecture on that. Who decided what a standard rotation is, anyway? Everything is scaled to human lifespans.” The grass in the ruins came up to Cal’s knees. It was a thick, matted variety that made each step a struggle. Following in his wake, Cass was spared the worst of it.

“In the galaxy’s infancy, time was measured in human generations.”

“Excuse me?” Cal stopped mid-step and nearly tripped when he spun around. “Are you joking?”

Cass frowned. “No, I am not. At the time, the dominant race was a people called the Rakata. They were the first to develop hyperspace capabilities and colonized most of the galaxy on the backs of their human workforce.”

“Humans were slaves?”

The frown took over her entire face, with deep lines around her mouth and her eyebrows pulled tight. Her patience was running out. “They still are, in the Empire and Hutt Space. Even the Republic at its height could not fully eradicate it. As I said, no one learns from their forebearers. The decline of the Rakata was in no small part due to human rebellions.”

“How do you even know all of this? I’ve never heard of the Rakata.”

Cass lifted her right hand and snapped her fingers. The grasses parted, leaving a clear path through the ruins. Her voice was as harsh as the wind. “What does history matter when it cannot save me?”

“I guess you’re right, but you’re going to be fine. We’ll figure this out.” Cal waited for a response, but she just glared at him, so he sighed and turned back toward the storm. From his shoulder, BD chided her. “Don’t be like that, BD. How would you feel if you were sick?” He responded with a low whistle.

At the edge of the ruins, fallen stone blocked their way. After a few attempts to climb over were stopped by the wind, Cal had BD pull up the map. “We’re going to have to find another way around.”

Cass knelt and pressed her bare fingertips into the ground. “Someone came through here recently.”

“Recently?”

“Compared to the age of the ruins. Could be last year, could be twenty years ago.” Cass stood up and turned away from the storm. She walked toward the mountainside, hands held out as she Sensed with the Force.

“How can you do that without psychometry?”

“Your master never taught you to Sense without it?”

“It all feels like the same thing.”

“Hmm.” Cass led them to a fissure in the rock. “This is the way; will you be able to fit through?”

“Yeah. I think I know who came before and they were bigger than me.”

“I will go first and we will see if you get stuck.” She removed her pack and held it before her with one hand as she slipped through the crack. “As for Sensing, I feel something of an echo. If I understand psychometry correctly, it is as if you can see a footprint while I only know that a footprint exists, but not the shape nor size.”

Cal held his breath to squish through the tightest section. “So Sensing is just less specific?”

“Yes, but that is not to necessarily mean less useful.”

“How could less information be more useful?”

“If you do not recognize what you see as a footprint, you do not know what to do with that information. You may come to the wrong conclusion entirely…” She trailed off as she turned a corner.

Cal couldn’t blame her. Before them was the eye of the storm. Winds raged hard enough to throw stones through the air, but were unnaturally quiet. “On three?”

Cass nodded. Together they raised their right hands and slowed the rocks in the air with the Force, just long enough to sprint through. In the calm of the storm was a gilded cage with a large ball made of stone and metal. When Cal touched it, he could feel the Force in it, but any specific feelings were clouded. Too many people had used the Force on it too casually.

On the other side of the ball, Cass was reading an inscription, her mouth forming silent words as her hands traced the symbols. “It is a lift.”

“An elevator, huh?” 

BD jumped off of Cal’s back and went around the edge of the cage before stopping at a control panel on the floor.

“Great job, BD!” Cal stepped on the panel and braced himself, but the movement was so smooth he barely felt it. They rode the elevator down in silence, Cal lost in his thoughts while Cass continued to read inscriptions around the cage. At the bottom, they walked up a cracked and crumbled staircase. A large, spiny plant sat at the top.

“Do not touch that,” Cass said a moment too late.

The bulbous body ballooned out and one of the spines cut Cal’s hand. “What are these things?”

“Awful.”

“You don’t know what they’re called?”

“I am not a memory bank.”

They slipped past the plant to a hallway of suspended pillars. With more plants. The jumps between the pillars was tricky with the plants. At the last one, Cass simply used the Force to push one off the platform. “It will regrow soon.”

“It looks like we have to jump.”

“I loathe these ice slides.”

BD whistled agreement.

“Well, no way to go, but down.” Cal went down first, only barely moving out of the way before Cass landed at the bottom. The room looked like one large mechanism with a divot in the center and a large ball against one of the walls. Cal examined the area while Cass read more inscriptions.

“There should be an open way out, but this chamber was used for intense meditation. There might be something useful.”

“It looks like I can turn this wheel and-” He cut himself off and blinked into the gust of wind. “I guess we move the ball this way.”


	4. Chapter 4

“This was the most ridiculous waste of our time that I could ever imagine.” Cass repeated the sentiment with her hands, though with significantly less formal language. She sat delicately on the floor, her sharp coat and tailored trousers looking juxtaposed against the crumbling ruins.

Cal, for his part, tried to gracefully walk out of the meditation chamber, but the floor was sloped just slightly too steep for it to look natural. He used his hands for the last few inches, feeling like he was a child running up stairs. “It wasn’t a waste of time. It was a meditation chamber for training. I got a lot from the echo in the Force; I just need time to sort through it.”

“I mean with the vents. I could have pushed that ridiculous ball, or even just set my electromagnet on the platform. Its core is ferrosteel.” Her lips curled outward in a pout.

Cal rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t think of it, either.”

A cloud of dust fell off Cass’ trousers when she stood and patted herself down. “Let us not waste anymore time.”

Once again, Cal led the way out of the meditation chamber. The halls were nearly as much of a twisted maze as the settlements surrounding it. The next open area had another large ball, this time suspended in the air. The cage holding it up looked climbable, but there was nothing above it except supports.

“I am beginning to hate the Zeffo. This is wholly unnecessary.” Cass went to the one of the walls and read the inscriptions. “At least we are close to the tomb proper.”

Surprise froze Cal’s muscles. He looked at BD-1 out of the corner of his eye, a silent  _ I thought you played Cordova’s recording only in my ear piece?  _ in the look. With calm that sounded obviously fake, he asked, “The tomb?”

“The elevator leads to the Tomb of Eilram. When you did not ask for a translation, I assumed you knew from whatever information sent you to the eye of the storm in the first place.” She shrugged and pointed up at a ledge too high to jump. “That is our path onward.”

Cal surveyed the area. “Well, we can climb up this section, so there’s probably an air vent up there that will make this swing and-”

“Or,” Cass said slowly, “we can jump.” With only three steps to gain momentum, Cass jumped at the wall, the Force lifting her higher than would have been possible without it. Her boots barely made a sound, she landed so lightly. “You are a Jedi, are you not?” Then she smiled. It was more of a smirk, but it was real.

Cal ran toward the wall, jumped and then scrambled in the air when he realized he wasn’t going to come even close. Desperately, he reached for Cass and felt the strong grip of her Force pull him the rest of the way. She dragged him the last few inches up onto the ledge, which should have been funny given how small she was, but instead Cal just felt… Safe. Safer even than being on the Mantis with Cere and Greez. 

Cere was a former Jedi, had known his master, but this was different. Cass was different. Her Force was solid and present and resonated with the memories he’d inadvertently taken when he saved her life. She wasn’t some guide or instructor, just… A friend. He cleared his throat, hoping the grey light in the tomb hid his blush. “Thanks for that. It’s… been a long time since I could use the Force freely.”

“I simply cannot imagine it. Before… Before my injury, I lived and breathed the Force.”

“You still do, really.”

Her hands clenched into fists. “If you had known me before, you would not think so.”

“I know you now. And you’re pretty great.” He smiled.

“Save your flattery for one that will live to appreciate it.”

The moment crashed between them and shattered like an old ceramic vase. He sighed and rubbed his face. “Why are you even here if you don’t think you’ll find a way to heal your Life Force?”

“I cheated death once, Cal Kestis. I should have died a year ago when my Life Force was shattered. I have no family to share moments with, no friends to prepare for my passing. My life is the last thing I lost. My choice was to fight or let the Force take me.” She looked down at her hands. The scars were bright and obvious, wrapped around her fingers like bandages. Her hands shook, not from emotion, but because she couldn’t stop the nerve damage from forcing twitches. She met his gaze and the light made her eyes look yellow. “And I have had enough taken from me.”

“I’m sorry.” Cal reached for her hands, but she pulled them away, shoving them deep into her pickets. “But we  _ will _ fix your Life Force. I promise.”

She looked away. “You should rest, Cal. It has been hours since you found me and you expended a great deal of energy to save me. I will keep watch.” The bedroll came off her pack easily and she tossed it to him.

Since she couldn’t sleep, he could only assume she used it as a kneeling pad for meditation. Cal unrolled it near the wall for protection, but not so close that the cold from the stone would sap away his body heat. “Um, you don’t have any food, do you? I had no idea how long I was going to be… Away.”

She threw a nutribar and a canteen of water over her shoulder before settling into seiza. Her posture was straight and relaxed, despite how uncomfortable the position had to be. Pebbles rolled around her and the air felt… Heavy. Not difficult to breathe, more like the stillness of being wrapped up in a blanket on the couch in your own room. 

He considered Cass as he ate the bar. The ends of her hair had to be ruined with how they brushed against the floor every time she meditated. Though dirty from their adventures, her coat was obviously fairly new and well-made, probably even tailored like her trousers. And she hadn’t been hiding her Force abilities since the Purge, so where had she been? How had she broken her Life Force? What had tried to kill her? He laid down to sleep, certain the questions would haunt his sleep, but they had to be better than nightmares of Prauf dying.

\---

Cal dreamed of the sea. The cliff he stood on was high and the wall was pockmarked with orobird nests. They flew around him, coming back from hunts in a bright rainbow of feathers. Over the sound of the waves crashing below, he heard a song. A heavy, sonorous thing that resonated deep in his chest. The lyrics were clear, but in a language he couldn’t understand. In the waking world, his psychometry would give him a sense of what it meant, but in his dream it slipped through him like the sea breeze.

It felt important, like it carried the history of times past. Was that how Cass knew so much history? Learned it from old songs? Even in his dream, he knew it would be pointless to ask her to sing one, but he planned to, if he remembered when he woke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, funny story. I did the burn the chain puzzle wrong. A carried a fucking candle from four rooms away to do that shit with marksman throws instead of using the MAGNET.


	5. Chapter 5

Nothing changed while Cal slept. It was eerie, how deep they were underground that even if the day above had cycled to night and back they would never know. Well, he could ask Cere and Greez, but that didn’t change how uncannily timeless everything felt. Rerolling the bedroll took no time or five hours. It was impossible to tell. His stomach gnawed at the back of his spine. Instead of shaking Cass out of her meditation, he dug through her pack, planning to apologize after making her something to eat.

Instead, he upended it in disbelief. He was still staring at the pile of nutribars and canteens that siphoned water from the air when Cass roused and blinked at him. “What are you doing?”

“I was going to make something for us to eat, but this is all you brought!”

“This is enough sustenance for a month! Of course it is all I brought!” She swept the bars and canteens into her pack with a swirl of Force like the gale above.

“There’s no taste! It’s like eating dried mud!”

“You are a Jedi, it should not matter!”

“We’re allowed basic pleasures like  _ flavor! _ Honestly, was this really your plan?” Cal felt like he was the crazy one. They stood only a foot apart shouting over a sack of nutribars. One every now and then was fine, but surely there was no reason-

“You cannot judge me when you brought no food of your own! I did not order off a menu, I stole this from the Imperial troops.” She held her ground, folding her arms over her chest. The stance would have been imposing if she wasn’t less than five feet tall.

“I know they have regular field rations; I heard them complaining. Surely even you get tired of eating the same thing day after day.” Cal didn’t know why he was arguing. It wasn’t as if they could just pop topside and get more food. Actually, were they trapped? The elevator hadn’t really had an up switch. He shoved the thought aside for later.

Cass yanked the bottom of her coat and whatever she was wearing under it up until her midriff was bare. In addition to the spider-web of Force lightning scars that covered apparently all of her skin, there was a picc line into her stomach. “Eating at all is a privilege.”

Heart broken, Cal reached out his hand. “Oh Cass, what did they do to you?”

She leapt backwards and out of range. “Enough.” No clarification if it was an answer or a command. “I would rather skip the discussion about your pity every time some new horror of the galaxy comes to your attention.”

“I… I’ll make it up to you. We’ll fix up your Life Force, get off this world and I’ll make you, I don’t know, a good nerf steak or something.”

“You do not need to-” She sighed, releasing the anger and frustration from her posture. Cass even let him touch her arm before she bent over and picked up her sack. The bedroll gently lifted to meet her hand, allowing her to tie it to the bottom of the pack. She slung it on her back. “Let us go deeper; I do not like this wind.”

“You can hear the voices, too?”

Cass pinched the bridge of her nose. “Cal Kestis, did no one tell you that hearing voices is a bad sign?”

He wiggled the fingers of his bare hand at her. She sighed and jumped down the ledge to the lower level where another large ball waited. With his psychometry, it would be stranger if he  _ didn’t _ hear voices. That had been the worst part of being Jaro Tapal’s padawan. They were always surrounded by clones and new ships, neither of which held Force echoes well. He’d done his best to befriend as many as possible, to make them individual people in his mind, but the Force was ill at ease with clones.

“Rightfully so,” he muttered to himself, fingering the scar on his cheek. “Hey, so, before we move this one, do you want to try your electromagnet?”

Cass paused in her examination of the resting plate and shrugged. In a flurry, she pulled components out of every pocket and one from the bottom of her boot. They hovered in the air around her until she directed them one by one back together. Slowly. Very slowly.

“Um, do you mind if I…?” Cal gestured to the floating pieces.

“Please.”

“Five years working in a scrapyard will make you good with this kind of thing. Though these pieces are a lot higher quality parts than I’m used to.” He paused and held up a cog. “Was this individually machined?”

Cass was nearly cross eyed watching him move the pieces around. She blinked and he repeated the question. “Machined what?”

“By- You know what? Nevermind, it definitely was.” He held the completed object on his palm. “I’d say there’s no way this is strong enough, but between the strength of your energy charge and this electrum-alloy wire, it might- You don’t understand what I’m talking about do you?”

“I am a swordsman and a Force historian. You should be grateful I had an electromagnet.”

With a flip of a switch, the electromagnet spun to life. Cal set it in the center of the resting plate. Beneath them, heavy machinery whirred to life and platforms rose out of the ground.

Cass pressed her ear to a pillar the moment it stopped raising. She knocked on the stone, then pressed all ten fingers into it. “This is a great deal of stone and primitive machines for a tomb.” She pushed off of it and looked at the inscriptions around the edge. “This same phrase was written earlier. It is an idiom, but about learning, not death and rebirth.”

BD-1 whistled directly into Cal’s comm receiver. There was another recording from Cordova he hadn’t played. It wasn’t particularly subtle, with how BD had leaned his head in, but Cass also wasn’t paying attention to them, so Cal said, “What if it was a study area that was converted into a tomb later?”

“In that situation…” Cass spread her arms and moved them around thin air as if arranging pieces of data on an invisible screen. “If we separate the carvings into two eras, one during the rise of the Zeffo and one during the decline, that would explain it. And a few other inconsistencies.” She rubbed her forehead.

“Wait, who said anything about decline?”

“Did you forget that this race died out? They did. Further, the damage to the individual statues, the ones that represent specific figures, they are damaged intentionally. Slashing on the unique features and so-forth.” She mimed cutting off her nose. “I speculate there was a great deal of infighting near the end.”

Cal couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his entire face. He could even feel it around his eyes. “I think we make a great team. I’ll handle the mechanical stuff and you got all of the history and we’ll beat this thing in no time.”

She looked across the cavernous room. Several sections were blocked by half-walls and tracks clearly designed for the large balls crisscrossed the space. “Good. We do not have much and-” She cut herself off and sighed. “We do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, friends! Please comment and let me know what parts you liked :)


	6. Chapter 6

Sage Eilram rested beneath the floor under a thick pane of transparent crystal. Each inhale sounded like a howling gale in the silence. Cal’s thudding footsteps were a harsh contrast to Cass’ soundless movement. They walked in together, tiny against the vaulted ceiling above. Cal had expected Cass to be awed, but instead her eyebrows were drawn together over a pout of professional criticism. She’d probably seen more impressive structures in her studies.

Though the more he thought about it, the stranger her proficiency in Force history seemed. It wasn’t polite to guess someone else’s age, but she couldn’t be that much older than him, if at all, so when had she had time to study physical combat, advanced Force Sensing, Force History and… well, be tortured so much. It took sustained or seriously repeated injury to cause nerve damage in a Force user. Had the Empire taken her during the Purge? Was she captive up until the encounter that damaged her Life Force? Had her master rescued her and then made the sacrifice? The more he thought about it, the worse he felt, so Cal shut the thoughts away for later.

The air was heavy with echoes in the Force, but they were weak enough to leave him alone until he  _ tried _ to experience them. He knelt over Sage Eilram and reached down with his hand and the Force, but ironically felt nothing.

Cass went straight for the wall covered in carvings. Most notable was the giant tree that curled around the ceiling to loom over the sage. Her fingers traced the etched writings on each side, her frown heavy as she mouthed the words. 

Cal listened to Cordova’s recording while she worked. His next stop was Kashyyk, rather than another tomb on Zeffo itself. Had they buried one of their sages on the Wookie homeworld? It wouldn’t be any stranger than leaving such an important Vault on Bogano. He’d promised Cere he wouldn’t tell Cass about her and the Mantis, or the real purpose of his search on Zeffo, but he didn’t want to leave her behind. What if she fell asleep again? What if he never came back to Zeffo at all and they were separated for good? 

No, he would come back no matter what. He could get the holocron and have Cere look through it while he came back and made sure that Cass was healed.

“There is a section here worn away intentionally.” Cass gestured to a smooth area in the stone that crossed two sections of ancient writing. “This language is very…” She puffed up her cheeks and blew out a long breath. “Though only a small amount of actual text is missing, as a result much of the meaning is obscured.”

“There isn’t any way to recover it?”

She frowned at him and turned back to the wall. “If this were metal, we could use an acid solution to remove the top layers and detect the areas compressed by the original writing, depending on how it was cut in, but this is stone. The only way is… Your gift.”

Cal looked at his hands and then walked up to the smooth section. He removed his glove and pressed both hands to the stone, but felt nothing. Unlike in the center of the room, the echoes in the Force were non-existent here.

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing,” he said, but before he could remove his hands, Cass was pressed against him, her hands over his. 

“Close your eyes, Cal,” she instructed. “Focus on the sound of my voice. Sense my Force moving through your hands. Let it and push and pull you like the tides.”

It took a moment for Cal to find his voice. It cracked like he was an adolescent again. “Is this safe for you?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounded miles away, like he was underwater and she was dropping the words on the surface. “Let me in, Cal Kestis.”

A knot relaxed in his chest and the feeling of stone under his palms disappeared. For a moment, there was nothing, then-- His mouth opened in a silent scream. Sharp needles of Force lightning tore through him, ripping erratic lines open across the flesh of his arms and hands. He could feel his blood seeping out of the charred wounds. Then, just as suddenly as it appeared, the pain was gone and he was centuries in the past. He took the breath out of an ancient Zeffo’s lungs and opened his eyes to see foreign hands carving the stone with both chisel and Force.

Still in the grips of the memory, he pulled out his neritylene torch. On the lowest setting, he burned in the symbols of the missing section. When he shut it off, the echo left him entirely and he stood limp in Cass’ hold.

“It worked,” Cass said, voice hollow with awe. “Cal, it worked! We did it! Do you have any idea what this means? Being able to channel a Force echo into someone with psychometry opens a whole new galaxy of information.”

Cal put his hands over hers on his abdomen and squeezed them. “Cass… I felt…”

“I know! I never could have hoped you would recover the entire-”

“Your torture. Scars opening over scars and-”

She jerked away, slipping her hands into her coat’s wide sleeves. Her skin paled until it was as white as the paint on her bottom lip. “That is not what I meant to-”

“Please, let me help you.”

“I do not need a savior.”

“That’s not- I just- Lean on me. Please. You don’t have to be alone with the torment anymore. Please.” His voice cracked again.

She stared at her boots. They were covered in dust and streaked with splashes of skungus sap. “Ask me when my Life Force is whole. For now… I cannot allow a moment of weakness.” She took a deep breath and went back to the writings. Her eyes were wet when she lifted them to the rewritten section, but she said nothing as she read. After an eternity, she stepped back from the wall.

“In his travels, Eilram found a tree that has the capacity to hold Life Force like a sentient being. It can hold memories and regulate, if not control its own Life Force.” Cass glanced at him over her shoulder. “Do you know why the Zeffo made this world their home?”

“I thought this is where the evolved?”

“No,” she waved her hands in the air. “Their origin world was abandoned long before even Eilram’s time. One of their future-Sensing sages learned of this world and arranged the migration because something about the atmosphere allows the wind to carry the Force. That is why it feels so unnatural and why they were able to create a storm that outlasted them by centuries.”

“How do you know that?”

“It is why the Empire wants this world’s relics. They are trying to recreate the Force winds as a method of storing Force energy for their own ends. The reason I mention it is, the writings say that this special tree is kin to the wind here. If we play along with the theory that there are no coincidences in the Force, et cetera, it could be that the sap of such a tree could… Act like a resin and fill the cracks in my Life Force.”

Another cracked formed in Cal’s resolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoo, I am so hype about this chapter. Let me know what you think.
> 
> [Also, I drew Cass from chapter one!](https://twitter.com/duveraun/status/1220123738898882562?s=20)


	7. Chapter 7

Outside of Eilram’s tomb, a squadron of Imperial soldiers waited. Cal clenched his hands into fists. “Did we just open the way for the Empire?”

BD-1 whistled.

“I agree with BD. It is natural to look for the eye of the storm. The true damage to this world was done when they arrived and killed the people here.” Cass lifted her hands into a focusing posture. “Let us give them something else to think about.”

When all of the soldiers were dead or unconscious, Cass returned to Cal’s side. “Due to my injury… Fighting with my lightsaber drains my Force substantially more than otherwise.”

Cal did a double-take. “What?”

“You asked before why I did not fight the way I was trained.”

“Oh, right. Well, you’re really good with telekinesis and pushing and stuff.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. Ever since she reformed the Force echo for him, something hot and tight curled in his gut every time they got too… Familiar. Was that why the Jedi forbade attachments?

“Perhaps I can train you in trakata once I am healed.”

“Trakata? I’ve never heard of that form.”

Cass shrugged. “It is a battlemaster technique, but I believe you have the requisite situational awareness due to your psychometry.”

“What’s so special about it?”

Cass stepped through a few saber forms without drawing her weapon. “It is the technique in which you activate and deactivate your saber by turns to avoid locking weapons.” She spun in a slow, graceful circle. “Its use is, perhaps, niche in a galaxy of ranged weapons, but there is no defense: only avoidance.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing… and dangerous.”

_ I believe in you _ , Cass signed before falling back into step with Cal.

“I’ve been meaning to ask… You don’t have to answer, but one of the younglings in my group, they were deaf-mute, which is why we all learned how to sign. It’s just that… You don’t talk to yourself with your hands, but you always mouth the words when you’re reading the old Zeffo writings. I mean, I didn’t stop doing it until I was on Bracca and that was just because my hands were always busy.”

Cass didn’t answer right away. Not before they were whisked up by a powerful air vent and not after they landed at the bottom of another ice slide. It was only when Cal was examining a weak area in one of the stone walls that she said, “I was not permitted to learn Basic Sign Language. It was considered unsightly and beneath my station.”

Cal looked over his shoulder at her. She was staring at her hands: both clenched into fists. He fought against the urge to apologize again. “Were you being trained for diplomatic missions? It would explain a few things.”

“If things had not gone the way they did… Yes, I was destined for politics.”

It wasn’t a direct answer. Cal knew, he did, there was something off about her answer that wasn’t related to her strangely formal way of speaking. Her comment reeked of being intentionally misleading while trying not to lie to him, but instead of being suspicious, he chose to focus on the fact that she didn’t want to lie. He cleared his throat and gestured to the section of wall. “I think we can push through this.”

“The damage to the stones is fresh and the mortar unset. Whatever lies beyond is certainly Imperial.”

“I saw a recording of an Imp commander reporting in. He suggested leaving a token force to guard their tech here. At worst, if we go in, we ruin his day.” He smiled at her.

Cass huffed out something that was almost a chuckle. “I have never known a Jedi so fond of mischief. Let us ruin the day, then. After you.”

Cal pushed the rocks in with a heavy wave of Force and then hopped inside. He offered a hand to Cass like a silly gentleman in a holofilm. She rolled her eyes at the gesture and hopped in beside him. BD-1 slipped off his back and ran around the floor, beeping.

“Yeah, go ahead. If we can salvage anything useful, all the better.”

Cass examined the large, metal contraptions with her hands and the Force. She tilted her head back, but the ceiling was so far above them it was obscured by other machinery. “This is infrastructure of some kind. A power core and distributor, perhaps?”

“That’s what it looks like,” Cal said. “Bigger than anything we got on Bracca, so what are they running that needs more power than a capital ship? You really know a lot about this stuff, for all of your protests.”

“One of the most important tasks of a historian is-” 

BD-1 interrupted her with a series of excited trills.

“Oh, you found a scomp link? Yeah, let me try to use the parts to fix yours.” When Cass approached the the workbench where Cal was fiddling with electronics, he said, “Sorry, continue.”

“We are often faced with strange devices and called upon to determine their purpose. Here, we have a central location, large, moving parts, very few control or access panels, many symmetrical panels around a central core… Minimal expected upkeep, given the intended permanence of the wall we broke through… There was also a sign that said power station that fell onto the floor.”

Cal laughed until he was breathless with tears in his eyes. “You told a joke! That was so funny! I can’t believe it!” BD-1 chirped his agreement. “I almost soldered this wrong, that was so good.” He wiped the tears from his eyes and finished the work on BD-1, though he kept hiccupping on small laughs. “How’s that, buddy?”

BD-1 whistled and spun his head around.

“Oh nearly as good as her joke? I’ll remember that. Come on, I see a panel you can slice and then we’ll bail before we’re caught.”

The sound from the giant piston BD-1 activated was nearly deafening. It was certainly loud enough to drown out Cal’s laughter when Cass used the Force to throw the power station sign at him. They used Force-aided jumps to leave through the hole they’d entered and ran into the nearby cave system before they were caught.

Cal leaned against a cold, stone wall and slid down until he was sitting. In the dim light, they caught their breaths with only minimal snickering. Cass had a real smile on her face, but it was shadowed by the serious set of her eyes.

“I know you did not come to Zeffo on your own, Cal.”

And like that, all of the joy and humor was sucked out of the airlock. Cal rubbed the back of his neck. “Umm… You told me not to tell you anything else.”

“And I stand by that, but you should check in with them.”

“BD has kept them updated, but… Yeah. Look, I have it on good authority that the tree we saw in Eilram’s tomb is a wroshyr tree.” At her blank look, he said, “They’re the predominant species on Kashyyk, the Wookie homeworld. If the Sage Eilram thought the tree was so important he wanted to be buried under it-”

“You cannot go to Kashyyk. The Empire is staging a major incursion there  _ right now. _ And against more than just Wookies. You would be walking directly into a major war zone. It is too dangerous.”

“I have to do this, Cass. I won’t tell you why, but it’s worth the risk. And-! You said that sap from a tree like that might heal you!”

She frowned and shook her head. “Wookie sap is not right. It cannot carry the Force the way the writings said it did. Do not make that face. It was a thin hope. I will not stop you if you feel you must go, but do not risk yourself attempting to acquire that which will not help me.”

Cal reached for her hands and was surprised when she didn’t pull away. He squeezed them. “I won’t, but I will ask around and see if anyone knows anything that could help. I’ll be careful. And I’ll be back soon.”

“I will keep looking here while you are gone.” She picked at the side of her boot heel until a thin datachit slid out. “This has my comm codes…” After much hesitation, she handed it over, but she didn’t tell him not to share it. That went without saying.

“Stay safe. And may the Force be with you.”

“And with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo i'm real sick, so please have patience with any delays


	8. Chapter 8

Cal returned to the Mantis with pep in his step. He wasn’t quite humming to himself, but he’d found the tomb of the first sage and knew where to go next  _ and _ he might be able to find a cure for Cass’ Force problem on Kashyyyk. He grinned at Cere when she met him on the gangway. “I know BD kept you in the loop. So, Kashyyyk?”

“Mmm, Greez is getting ready to take off.” Her expression was that special kind of blankness Jedi mastered in the first year of training. “We need to have a little talk.”

Cal plopped onto the couch and stretched his legs. Relief flooded through his taxed muscles. He rubbed his left knee and cocked his head to look at Cere. “What’s on your mind?”

“I won’t mince words. You and I both know there’s more to Cass than she’s saying.”

“Well, yeah, she was horribly tortured-”

“Cal, listen to me. I studied under Cordova and was a Knight in my own right. The way she talks about the Force is wrong.”

Cal sat up straight, his spine as stiff as a rod. “What do you mean by wrong? Everything she said fits in with what I was taught.”

“It’s not the content; it’s how she phrases things.”

“I know she speaks a little strange, but-”

“Not strange, Cal,  _ insidious. _ It’s the way she trickles out the information, leaving you wanting more and making her the only source of answers.” Cere sat calmly with her hands folded in her lap, but her expression had turned from blank to serious.

“That’s not it, Cere! You didn’t see her. She’s falling apart at the seams, just barely clinging to life. Of course she’s not just going to… Exposit at me. For all she knows, I’m an Inquisitor. It isn’t like they aren’t known to kill their own troopers.”

“Cal…”

“Is that it? You think  _ she’s _ an Inquisitor?” Cal balled his hands into fists and stood, looking down at her.

“She doesn’t talk like an Inquisitor-”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!”

“-she talks like a Sith.”

A cold weight sank in Cal’s chest. “What does that even mean? Yeah, there’s the Sith  _ Emperor, _ but-”

“The Sith are an order, much like the Jedi. They’ve claimed there are only two. The master, the emperor, and the apprentice-”

“Are you accusing her of being the apprentice?”

“Cal! Take a breath. Sit down.” Cere put a hand on his shoulder once he was seated again. “I was tortured by Inquisitors. They interrogated me for days, trying to find the location of Trilla and the younglings, of everything I knew about Master Cordova. Days. My body was weak and crumbling, but nothing they did could so much as scratch my resolve.” Her grip tightened on his shoulder and she looked away. “Then the apprentice came. Within an hour, he had everything he wanted. Trilla, the children, I failed them. It’s my fault that-” Her voice failed her and she covered her mouth with her hand.

Cal could only watch her with trembling lips as she regained her composure.

“The Inquisitors are just corrupted Force users following orders. A Sith is something else entirely. ‘Chancellor’ Palpatine,” she said the title like a curse, “took control of the Senate with nothing more than words and subtle manipulations. She said it herself, she was trained for politics. Her clothing is high quality. She casually carries an advanced electromagnet and E&M scanner despite having no specialised training with either. And trakata is a style exclusively for fighting other saber wielders and the Jedi haven’t taught it for generations.”

Cal pressed his fists into the seat cushions. “She’s dying, Cere. She’s not faking that.”

“Maybe someone fought back. I did.”

“Why would she even bother with me, then? I’m not a Knight. This isn’t even my own lightsaber. I lost that during the Purge. If I hadn’t-” He squeezed his eyes shut and frustrated tears dripped down his cheeks. “Why not just get rid of me and search with her troopers in peace?”

“Bogano and the Vault were the only things I managed to keep from the apprentice. I’m sure BD has some kind of programming to reformat his memory if you’re killed or captured.”

“I can’t… I can’t believe it, Cere. She’s not evil.”

“Remember how angry she was when she asked if you were Kiffar?”

“She was just surprised! Scared!” Cal angrily swiped at his cheeks. “There has to be some other explanation. She’s dying. I can’t just turn my back on her.”

“Even if there is an innocent explanation, we can’t risk our mission over one life.”

“Why not? She’s already trained and you can’t deny the depth of her knowledge. And! And together we were able to restore the missing inscription in Eilram’s tomb. You told Greez you were a Seeker. Just Seek new students! Who knows how many of the people on Cordova’s list have already died in the war?”

Pain started in Cere’s eyes and sunk into the rest of her body, bending her back and pulling her shoulders in. “You want to turn her to the Light Side?”

“I don’t think she’s Dark, but if so… Then yes. When I first touched her, I felt- Whatever her past is, I don’t think she’s ever been… safe. Let alone happy or at peace. Cere, I can’t imagine what you went through. If the way she talks makes you relive that, we’ll do something about it, but please trust me. I think she could be a priceless asset in the fight against the Empire. I let someone die before. I won’t do it again.”

Cere stared deep into his eyes and for the first time, he felt a faint touch of Force from her. Well, he was being honest, his truest self he’d ever been. Let her search his mind or his soul or whatever she was doing.

“Oh, Cal. You’re not responsible for your master’s death.”

He turned away from her. He didn’t want to talk about that.

“We can get into it later, for now… If she’s willing to admit to who and what she is. If she agrees to fight the Empire honestly… Then I’ll give her a chance.” Cere held up a hand. “But she can’t keep playing with word games and half-truths. I’ll let you talk to her, privately, when we get back to Zeffo, but that’s all I can give you. Our mission is too important. If the fighting on Kashyyyk is as bad as she said, well, I imagine you’ll find out first hand why the Empire is bad for everyone and not just the Jedi.”

“Thank you, Cere.”

“Don’t thank me yet. A lot depends on her and we don’t even know if we’ll be able to meet Tarrful, let alone learn whatever Cordova wanted us to get from Kashyyyk. Either way, our journey’s only just begun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, still sick, enjoy


	9. Chapter 9

Kashyyyk was worse than Cal expected. Despite Cass and Greez’s warnings, he hadn’t expected an actual warzone. Even those were the exact words both of them used. Maybe it was more that he didn’t have any experience in a real warzone. He’d been too young to fight in the Clone Wars. Zeffo had felt like nothing, especially with Cass’ help, but on Kashyyyk… People counted on him. If he wasn’t fast enough, if he didn’t run the right direction, if he didn’t hit the right switches… People died. It burned like shame on his face and self-loathing in his gut. 

And it all coiled together with the tight spring of anxiety in his chest. He didn’t want to give Cass Cere’s ultimatum. He trusted her and an interrogation was a poor way to repay her for her help. That he was coming back empty-handed made it worse. If the wroshyr sap was being used for industrial purposes in the Empire, it was hardly going to mend the fissure in Cass’ Life Force. He hadn’t even found Tarfful. Hadn’t even confirmed the chieftain was alive.

It was with a heavy heart that he contacted Cass as Greez brought the Mantis back down on Zeffo. “Hey Cass.”

“Are you injured?” The holoimage of Cass looked tired and cold. She even had her hair wrapped around her neck like a scarf.

“No, no, I’m fine. Do you know where that derelict hangar is? It’s connected to the cave system where I left you.”

“There are several abandoned hangars on Zeffo, but yes, I know the one.”

“Can you meet me there? We’ll be landing any minute.”

She nodded and disconnected the call. 

Cal crouched on the ground, his weight resting entirely on the balls of his feet. He patted BD-1 on the head. “Hey buddy, I’m gonna need you to wait here for a minute while I talk to Cass.”

BD whistled.

“I know, but I’d still rather have the conversation alone.”

Cere touched his shoulder. “Thank you, Cal. I know this isn’t easy. Our mission will be much easier once this is out of the way. One way or another.”

Cal bit his bottom lip and said nothing in response. He rocked back into a standing position when the Mantis touched down on Zeffo. The gangway wasn’t even fully extended when he jumped out. He walked the same path with a completely different kind of jitters from when he left. 

Cass was carefully levitating the bodies of two troopers out of the shelter of the hangar when he spotted her. He signed that he’d wait for her inside and then sat on one of the musty, old crates. His swinging legs did nothing for the nerves in his chest.

“Where is BD?” Cass asked.

“He’s back on the ship.” Cal hopped off the crate and swung his arms awkwardly. “Look, Cere -- she’s a former Jedi Knight that’s been helping me -- she doesn’t trust you. She says that… That you talk like a Sith. Not an Inquisitor, but the full… Master-Apprentice Sith Order thing.” He rubbed the back of his neck and found it damp with sweat. “She said we can’t trust you unless you… You made it clear you weren’t telling me everything, but she says… I trust you, I really, really, do, but I agreed that for you to help with our mission, you have to tell us everything.”

He braced himself for an argument, for yelling, for tears. His heart was on the ground between his feet and his mouth was sour with his own betrayal, but he didn’t let himself apologize. He’d agreed with Cere. He was the one pushing Cass. It was his decision, in the end, and he wouldn’t back away from that responsibility. After a tense moment of silence, he risked a glance at her.

Somehow, her reaction was worse than tears or yelling. She wasn’t even disappointed. Her expression was just a blankness that… That she’d expected it. She caught his eyes and gestured toward the Mantis. “Well? Let me see her, then. I will not explain twice.”

The walk to the Mantis felt more like a death march than anything else. Cere stared at them with obvious surprise, but stepped out of the way to let Cass onto the ship without a word. 

Cass turned to him and signed,  _ Sit. _ She stood in the center of the half-circle made by Greez’s couches and said nothing until all three of them were seated. Then, she shrugged out of her coat, revealing grey and black battle leathers. She shifted into an aggressive stance and drew her lightsaber. She activated it and her entire appearance changed as light from the  _ red, it was red _ blade hit her. Her hair was the color of fresh blood and Cal realized with a start that it had been so the first time he saw her, too. He hadn’t even noticed the illusion or whatever hid it, but the changes to her face were infinitely more striking. Sharp, red tattoos lined her right eye and on her forehead and chin on the right side, cutting off unnaturally in the center of her face. And her eyes themselves were reptilian yellow.

“Is this what you wanted to see, Jedi?” The title was a curse on her lips. “The culmination of thousands of years of Sith legacy and tradition passed onto a worthy heir, unlike that fool  _ Vader? _ All of the nightmares given to Jedi younglings made real?” She spun her saber until the blade pointed straight down and deactivated it.

Air stuttered in Cal’s chest as the red light faded. Though her hair was still its original color, the tattoos and yellow eyes were gone.

“I tore that legacy from my blood and my reward is a slow death. That is how I damaged my Life Force.” She replaced the hilt on her belt and tossed a kyber crystal onto the small table in front of her. “That is from the weapon of the Third Brother. It is corrupted, as Jedi say all red crystals are. Mine is real. Red from before I took it from the mines of Ilum. If you intend to demonize me, keep that propaganda in your gut.”

Greez very obviously wished he was anywhere else, but the trembling in his four arms made it equally clear that he was terrified of drawing attention to himself.

Was Cal a bad Jedi for just wanting to get up and give Cass a hug? To tell her it would be alright, that she was safe with them? The promise she didn’t have to  _ survive _ anymore, she could live? There was so much he wanted to say, but none of it could make it to his mouth.

In the end, Cere was the first to break the tense silence. “I’ve never seen a true red crystal. May I?” She held out her hand so casually.

Though, Cal supposed, Cass wouldn’t be any less deadly for handing the weapon over. He wasn’t surprised when she pressed the ornate hilt into Cere’s hand.

Cere closed her eyes, Sensing the crystal within. Her left hand hovered over the corrupted crystal, doing the same. She let out a loud breath and returned the hilt to Cass. “You’re telling the truth, but I don’t understand why all corrupted crystals are red.”

Cas rolled her eyes. “Simple light theory. Corrupted crystals are only capable of producing the longer wavelengths. They are also brighter in the infrared spectrum.”

“And the Rule of Two? Just a facade?”

Guard still up, Cass slowly shook her head. “I was trained in secret, once that woman realized I would not die as the others had. There are some few others hiding their legacies, but like that woman, they are cowards that will not reveal themselves while the Emperor looks on.”

Cere’s lips pressed together into a thin line, almost disappearing on her face. A bevy of questions rattled behind her eyes. “I know you’re still hiding things.” She laughed and stroked her chin. “And believe me, I didn’t miss the contempt you feel for the Jedi, but I’m satisfied. Working together won’t be an easy fit.”

“These are anything but easy times.”

Cere barked out a laugh. “True enough. There are things I want to talk about later, but I think finding the second tomb is more pressing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like Cass, you can read more about her in [Lessons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7754725), an Old Republic Era fic.


	10. Chapter 10

“I… What I mean is…” Cal gave up on words and hugged Cass. Though stiff at first -- and she reached for her lightsaber -- she reached up and touched his arms. “Thank you. I know it was difficult and you shouldn’t have had to and- It just… It means a lot to me.”

“My… secrecy means little when keeping it means I will be dead in some few months.” She pulled away before he could protest. It was strange to see her with red hair and Cal kicked himself for not noticing when he returned with her pack that first day. It was so vibrant, how could he miss it? “Come. The Imperials have found the second tomb, though they have been unable to make any headway.”

“Is it… Weird to say ‘the Imperials’ like that? Since you’re Imperial?” He tried to gauge her reaction. He had so many questions, even though it felt like the wrong time to ask.

“The Empire… Grows and shrinks rapidly. This has been true for its entire history. If I am not Sith, I am, perhaps, Kaasian.”

“Is using your saber worse for your condition, or were you just hiding the color?”

“Cal.”

“Right. Sorry. I just-”

“There is no need to explain yourself. Just stop. For now.” She rubbed her forehead, where the Sith marks no longer were. “It is worse. When I cast, I have more direct control of my Life Force. To fight with my saber is more… Instinct.”

“That makes sense, since it was your focus. I… Still have trouble meditating. Since the Purge. I just remember what happened and get caught in the memories. I have nightmares most nights, too.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But I guess I’m lucky to sleep at all.”

“There is no reason to be grateful it is not worse.”

From Cal’s shoulder, BD-1 chirped and whistled.

“Hey! You wouldn’t really do that?”

“I think you should not test him,” Cass said. There was a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth and her eyebrows were up. “Your gift may have had unintended side effects on him.”

“What could my psychometry have done to BD? I can’t even get any echoes off of him. I think Cordova purposefully removed Force traces so-”

“I mean your  _ gift. _ For… mechanical things.” She waved her hands vaguely and then signed,  _ Droids, machines, you know. _

“I don’t know.”

“You all but glow with the Force when you work on them! The Force makes you… so much better. Everything is intuitive, is it not?”

Cal glanced at BD, who crooked his head. “I guess. I didn’t know the Force could do anything like that. I thought it was limited to living things.”

Cass swore in a language Cal didn’t recognize. He did catch the word Jedi spoken with derision. “The Force is in  _ you _ and acts through you specifically when you work with those things. Have you ever seen a BD series droid before? Much less worked on one? And yet, you can repair and upgrade him as if you built him from bolts and wires yourself.”

Cal exchanged a glance with BD. “I guess I never thought about it that way before. It’s like that with every droid I work on.”

“Precisely my point. It is your gift. It simply does not aid in the Jedi Order’s… Peacekeeping agenda.” She shoved her hands into her pockets and increased her pace across Zeffo’s slippery ground.

“You really hate the Order, don’t you?” Cal asked. It was nothing to keep pace with her, what with his longer legs. After so many years of Prauf as his best friend, it was strange to be so much taller than his companion.

“I would rather not get into it.”

“Later, then? Because if I’m going to be rebuilding the Order, I want to know the problems so I can improve it.”

A non-committal grumble was his only answer. Cal didn’t mind. He still needed to sort through his feelings about having a gift for mechanical things. First thought was to refute Cass’ implication that the Order had kept him from his gift. He didn’t exactly have a lot of exposure to droids and machinery before the Purge, but the more he thought about it, the less certain he felt. He clearly remembered sneaking into the Jedi Temple’s generator room more than once and playing with the machines. He’d flipped switches and pressed buttons and moved heavy cords and hadn’t broken anything.

Then there was the time the server bank failed in the library and he’d repaired it with a wire swap and a swift kick from his scuffed boots. He’d been ten years old. No one ever taught him how electronics worked. Surely someone had known about his gift. Surely Master Tapal, who was constantly pulling him out of maintenance ducts on the ship. It was a chilling thought. Master Tapal was the closest thing to family he had.

He could almost hear Cass’ voice in his head.  _ And whose fault is that? _

He’d never been told how he came to be in the Jedi Order. Was he an orphan or did he have family out there somewhere? Were they safe? Did he have siblings? It was a dangerous thought, one that his master would have shut down by reciting the rule about attachments. It felt so ridiculous in hindsight. Humans weren’t meant to be alone. How many memories caught in the Force did he have to see to understand that? 

Even the clone army, created in labs and then stuck into identical armor and shipped across the galaxy with little more than serial numbers to distinguish between them, had spent every moment not on duty forming social groups and creating found families. How many had joked about adopting Cal? Family was such an inherent human concept that people made by the dozen with a press of a button searched for it in the middle of a war.

“Do you have any family?” He asked, wishing he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt.

“No. My father died in the Purge, protecting others.” She touched the hilt of her lightsaber. That single action created so many more questions. That she knew him as her father at all meant he couldn’t have been a Jedi and then where had he been during her torture? “That woman had several other daughters before me. I was the only one to survive the cage and then I killed her myself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do not be. I am free now. My father’s gift and purpose survives in me.”

“You don’t have to lose anyone else.”

“Where there is life, there is loss. All in balance, in the Force.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience with the lateness of this post. 🙏 I have a migraine, so tomorrow may be late, too.


	11. Chapter 11

“You weren’t kidding when you said the Imps were already here,” Cal said. He rubbed the back of his neck and patted BD on the head before dropping his hand. “It feels so… different here.” 

Cass fingered a flowering vine. “The ambient Force is heavy with the Dark Side.”

“Whoa- what? I mean, I felt something in my chest, but I thought it was just Greez’s cooking. The Dark Side? Are you saying the Zeffo were evil?”

She sighed heavily and pointed to a group of Imperial soldiers. _Let us deal with them first. You will not like what I have to say._

The uneasiness sat heavy in Cal’s stomach, but he signed his agreement. After dispatching a few troops, he looked to where she was fighting the dual-wielding Purge Trooper. Though, fighting was too generous of a term. She had him on his knees before her, her hand splayed across the front of his helmet. She flicked her wrist and he slumped to the ground. Yellow flashed in her eyes for an instant when their gazes met.

“They have yet to find the inner chamber, but they know you by name. I do not believe that knowledge aids them; it is merely an intimidation factor.”

Choosing not to comment on her eyes, Cal bit his lip. “Do they know who you are?”

“They do not even know I am here, as of yet.” She reached down the front of her coat and pulled out a silver chain with a sickly green crystal. “This makes me exceedingly difficult to remember.”

“Was that… Made with the Dark Side?”

Cass jumped onto thick vines that grew on the side of a pillar. She spoke as she climbed, “The Jedi conflate morality with the Light Side. This is simply not the case. To delve into Force theory, the Light Side is ‘order’ and the Dark Side is ‘chaos.’ In the case of my amulet, it imposes order and constancy on those affected, leaving them unable to _create_ new memories where I am concerned. It is a creation of the Light.”

“How is that not bad?”

“Light does not mean good. Dark does not mean evil. These vines are the result of the Dark Side. Creation is chaos. There can be no life without it.”

“I feel like you’re missing the point.”

Cass pulled herself onto the top of the pillar and offered a hand down to Cal. “No. The Force is the Force. It cares not for morality or good or evil. It cares for the balance between order and chaos only. It is people that have ascribed morality to the Force.”

“But the Sith kill people!”

Her expression was unimpressed: her mouth a straight line and her eyebrows pulled close. “How much blood is on your hands? You killed three people not twenty minutes ago. The Sith are wrong, yes, but that does not make the Jedi right. You are not evil, Cal, but you must widen your perspective if you intend to rebuild the Jedi Order.”

Cal put his hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “We’re too young for this.”

“And yet, five years ago, you were taught how to wield one of the most dangerous weapons in the galaxy. Everyone can acknowledge that what was done to me was evil, but you and your peers were also robbed of your childhoods.”

“I… I’m not trying to dismiss what you said, but I need time to think about it. I need time to think about a lot of things. I haven’t really done much of it since I left Bracca. I trust you and I want your opinion on my plans, even if you think I’m not going to like it.”

Though there was a terrible depth of sadness in Cass’ eyes, she smiled. She touched his cheek before stiffening and pivoting in place. Her nostrils flared and she scanned the area. “Come, we must get somewhere more stable.”

Together, they ran through the ruins, the Force keeping their footing even and their jumps high. Finally they reached a wall cut through in Imperial tech. Though the atmosphere was poor, it was spacious with solid footing. 

“Cal Kestis,” the Second Sister said. She seemed to materialize out of the air where they had just come. “Yes, I do know your name. And of your master, Jaro Tapal.” She turned her helmet to Cass. “But what is this? You have a little friend with you! Too insignificant for my people’s reports, I see. Does she translate the runes for you?”

Cal drew his saber and stepped in front of Cass. “What do you want?”

“Tell me about Cordova… Where did he hide the holocron?”

“I’m not telling you anything!” Cal’s lunge was aborted when Cass touched his shoulder. The lightest thing, just two fingers as she stepped in front of him.

She tilted her head to the side as she eyed the Second Sister. The smile that split her face was cruel and… wrong. Too wide and showing too many teeth that were too pointed to be anything but an illusion. She held out a hand to the Inquisitor in offering, even as she spoke in a harsh, grating language that carried the feeling of the Force in every word. 

Though she tried to hide it, the Second Sister flinched.

“Oh, did they not even teach you how to speak? How pathetic.” Cass lit her saber, the blade shining red light across her face, revealing another illusion of the marks she’d removed.

“A Sith!”

“So you are not completely ignorant.”

“I was ordered by Lord Vader himself to-”

A slash of her hand through the air, sent the Second Sister sliding back. Cass lifted her chin, staring down her nose at the Inquisitor. “Vader is not here and I told you to kneel.” 

Even knowing her without the illusions, Cal felt his breath tremble in his chest. 

“I do not answer to you,” the Second Sister said, fear dripping from every word. Despite it, she lit her saber and leapt at Cass.

Cal backed away from the clash of blades. This was Cass’ specialty; he wouldn’t insult her by trying to help. He needn’t have bothered. After two exchanges, the Second Sister was on her knees and her saber was in Cass’ left hand.

“Give me a single reason not to kill you, little Inquisitor.”

“Cere Junda was my master! She caused this!”

“ _S_ _leep._ ”

Even though the technique wasn’t aimed at him, Cal needed BD-1’s headbutt to stay fully conscious.

Cass caught the Inquisitor before her limp body hit the ground. “Call Cere.”

“Cass-”

“Someone needs to collect her padawan and we are busy.”

“You really want to bring her back?”

With her hands glowing on the Inquisitor’s temples, Cass looked up at him. “No, but it is the right thing to do.” She removed her hands. “The damage is repairable, but it will take time and she will require an emotional healer, as well.”

“An emotional- Whoa, are you okay?” Cal surged forward, only barely catching Cass before she hit the ground.

“I… Need to rest. I suppose we will be here when Cere arrives regardless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience 💙 I may FINALLY be over my cold, MAY, but here's hoping.


	12. Chapter 12

After Cere hung up the call, Cal knelt next to Cass. She was sitting seiza on her bedroll. Her entire face was as white as the paint on her bottom lip and the trembling in her limbs had nothing to do with Force lightning nerve damage. Cal’s hand fluttered in the air as he tried to think of what he could do to help without pushing her too hard. “Cass? Hey, you don’t look so good.”

Her face crumpled in pain and she bent over, hugging herself so tightly, her veins bulged where they peeked out of her gloves. “I barely used it, but the emptiness may swallow me whole.”

Gingerly, as if his touch might burn her, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Shh, hey, it’s okay. We’ll be okay. Just tell me what to do.”

“I just need time.”

“Please. I want to help. Let me in.” That did it. Maybe it was because those were the words she said to him in Eilram’s tomb, but suddenly, Cal felt a shift in the air and jerked forward, pressing himself against her back. His vision blurred and swam until the Imperial tech disappeared. 

The first sensation that reached him was the sound of waves crashing, followed by a sharp spritz of sea spray and the smell of salt on the air. Then he heard it again: the ballad from his dream the first time he slept on Zeffo. Cass had been meditating then, too. Was it from her mind? It sounded… ponderous and inevitable. Cal listened, enraptured, while trying to look at his surroundings.

He was behind Cass, who stood at the edge of a cliff, her face turned up to the clouds and her long, red hair billowing in the sea breeze. She wasn’t singing, the voice was a rich baritone, but she swayed in time with the heavy beat. 

Wary of breaking the… dream or meditation or whatever it was, Cal walked up to her. He almost choked on his tongue fighting the laugh that she was significantly taller in the vision. The Sith marks were on her face, but only at first. They slipped off like condensation on a cold cup in summer, leaving blood-like tracts on her face. Their eyes met for a moment before she returned her gaze to the sea.

“What is this place?” Cal’s question echoed off the cliffside and back to them.

Cass pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, but it did nothing to calm the storm. “My mind, such as it is. In order to modify or heal a mind, you must first visualize it in some capacity.”

“And this cliff is… the crack?”

She snorted and ducked her head. “No, this is more or less a natural formation. The crack is…” She waved over her shoulder at the mountains behind them. “It is a painful thing to see, even if you do not truly understand this place.”

“That’s this music? I’ve never heard this language before. To the- to Trilla, I know you spoke Sith, even if I don’t know what you said.”

“Trilla is her name?”

“Cere told me that was her padawan’s name.”

“Hmm.” Her chest rose and fell with deep breaths. “This is the epic, The King of the West and the God of Red Gold. It’s a myth from my father’s long-lost homeland. After the Empire destroyed it, his ancestor collected everything he could. Myths, artefacts, some history. I alone know the language and I may be the last.”

“I’m not the best with languages, but you could teach me. This song has been stuck in my head since I slept the other day. It’s been driving me crazy.”

“You heard it, then?”

“Yes.” He hummed the next few bars.

Cass turned away, but not fast enough to hide her smile. “It seems my Force trusted you more than I believed.”

“Are you drawing energy from me now?”

“No, but your presence has… helped. I will explain it one day, but for now, you should wake up.” She snapped her fingers and the vision broke.

Cal shook his head and pulled away from Cass before she flinched out of his grasp. “I… Should have asked first. Sorry.”

“You would not have made it in if you had not been welcome.” Cass rubbed her arms. “Let me build an illusion to hide Trilla until Cere arrives. We’ve wasted so much time.”

“Whatever Cordova wanted us to find will still be there. I’m sure of it.” BD beeped agreement, flashing his lights for emphasis. “See? He agrees.”

“I will not let this become a… a thing!” She slashed her arms between them.

“What?”

“You cannot simply always turn to BD and say he agrees with you to win an argument.”

Something about her righteous indignation made a warmth spread in Cal’s chest. Maybe it was the implication that they’d have a lot of arguments to come. Maybe it was just that she acknowledged BD as a person. Even Master Tapal had treated droids as little more than moving objects. He smiled at her. “Okay, I’ll be the hopelessly optimistic one and you can be the strong and surly one.”

She snorted. “As if there was another option.” Cass took his arm like he was escorting her to some kind of fancy party at the Senate. “Come and tell me if you notice this: it seems to me that the decorations become more decadent the closer we get to the tomb. It is not particularly obvious under the overgrowth, but I catch hints of gilding.”

“I’ll see what I can get with my psychometry, but you’re probably right. If they defaced the statues around Eilram’s tomb, which was a symbol of austerity and working with nature, it would make sense that it was because they’d gone the other direction.”

“It is quaint how many societies tend to pendulum back and forth between ideals. Every world believes itself to be the exception.” Cass picked her way across a wall covered two inches deep in vines. “I do like these attraction and repulsion machines. They seem to be a blend of Force and standard Pollian Mechanics. We should return and study them with your gift once I am well and your task is complete.”

The words froze the flower of warmth in his chest. “You know what my goal is, now. I don’t think it’ll ever be complete. There’s always going to be something else to do.”

“Then I will kidnap you for a vacation like the evil Sith I was raised to be.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Without Trilla giving orders, the troopers are just kinda milling around.” Cal said. He was peeking around a large doorway at the soldiers around Miktrull’s tomb. Instead of the rushing winds of Eilram’s tomb, Miktrull’s had simulated rain pouring from the ceiling in addition to the pseudo-gravity machines, as Cordova had called them.

“Never let it be said that anyone in the Empire wants to serve the Sith.”

“If they don’t want to do it, why join the army?”

“In many cases, it is the only way to protect their families. It is not only non-humans they enslave, after all. Not joining the army, leaves them with no defense if the Emperor or his apprentice are going to sacrifice them. While the uniform brings them closer to the fire, if they catch the ear of the correct moff they may be granted a death-row reprieve.” Cass ducked under his arm and looked for herself.

“That’s horrible!”

“Not that the nobility would be eager to give up slavery and general oppression without the Sith, but they have always been a far greater threat to the Empre than the Jedi could ever be. Come. Now is our opportunity.” Together they sprinted into the center of the tomb. Cass threw up a wall of water to break the sightlines from the distant troopers. With her true origins in the open, Cass didn’t waste energy throwing troopers around. Instead, she snapped their necks with a single, small application of Force.

As much as the brutality made Cal flinch, in the end it was likely less traumatizing than being thrown into a wall until their neck broke or tossed from a cliffside. And wasn’t that an unsettling thought? The methods the Jedi preached up and down were more painful for their enemies. Why? For the sliver of plausible deniability that the fall killed them and not the Jedi? It left a bad taste in his mouth. At least a lightsaber slash was quick and relatively painless.

“It feels wrong to say, but you’re… Really good at that.”

Cass whipped her ponytail over her shoulder. “I understand. We were both made into child soldiers, it is no wonder-”

“Whoa, what? The Jedi don’t train child soldiers! That’s horrific!”

She stared at him with her mouth slightly open, bafflement in the crease between her eyebrows. “Cal Kestis, whether or not you were kidnapped from loving parents, from the moment you were in their hands they trained you to fight for their cause.” She switched to BSL.  _ You were taught this language for a peer. An experience of bonding and connection. How long was it before you were separated for the purpose of ‘saving’ you from attachments? Have you used it with anyone other than me since that time? _

“No, but when you say it like that, it all seems so calculated…”

“The Jedi Order is more than three thousand years old! They have spent literal millenia honing their techniques. Every aspect of that life is calculated. From the food you eat to the clothes you wear to the way they dangle affection before your eyes only to yank it away at the last moment. Do you know what the Jedi Trials are?”

“Well- well, yes, of course.”

“And which is the last?”

“I-it depends on the padawan and their mas-”

“It is being separated from your master, to be cast off without communication or connection until the next time you meet you are as strangers!”

“It doesn’t matter! He died and it’s my fault!”

For once, Cass was the one to close the distance. She held his forearms in a punishing grip. “What happened?”

Cal couldn’t meet her eyes. “We were on a ship. Stationed above Bracca. Then the Clone Troopers just… started attacking. I lost my lightsaber, it’s all my fault!” He fought her grip, trying to cover his tears, but despite her size, she held firm. “He gave me his, forced me into an escape pod. Then he blew up the ship to hide me and it doesn’t even matter, the Empire found out. Cass, I killed him.”

“No, you didn’t.” Her use of a contraction shocked him enough that she was easily able to muscle him down until their foreheads were touching. “You were a  _ child. _ The least he owed you, the least the Jedi owed you, was the chance to live. They stole your life from you. You do not need to waste it on them now that you have it back.”

“I just want to do the right thing. I don’t know what else I could even do.”

“You can. And you will. I, too, was raised for a purpose. I was forged into a weapon of the Empire and I chose to reject my role. I have never held a credit, let alone purchased anything. I have not a single clue where to even begin with something like cooking. I lack the skills to be anything other than what that woman made me, but I am here. And I am willing to learn.”

“Of course.” Cal laughed, a defeated, self-deprecating sound. “You’ve been through so much worse and here I am complaining-”

“No. We have both suffered for others and now have the chance to live for ourselves. Will you do that, Cal? Walk with me into the unknown? Or continue the cycle of Jedi and Sith that we were forced into?”

In answer, he pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing so much it had to hurt, but she didn’t complain, just held him back and turned her face to rest her head against his shoulder. “What am I going to do when I find the holocron? Just give it to Cere and leave?”

“What holocron?”

“That’s why I’m doing this. Cordova left behind a holocron with the locations of Force sensitive children throughout the galaxy.”

She pushed away with both hands on his chest. “When? Before the Purge? If they are even still  _ alive- _ no, later.” Cass took a deep breath and straightened out her coat. “You are in no position to be using this list to start a new order, even with a former Knight to aid you. The two of you could not even keep yourselves hidden, let alone any children on that list. In lieu of any reasonable suggestions from Cere, I say we find the children and give their parents the information and tools to protect themselves.” She broke up and cursed fluently in Sith. “If it has been five years, any humans or similar races are already too old for Jedi training! Did Cere and this Cordova put any thought at all into this mission before thrusting it on you?”

“I… Oh. You’re right. I hadn’t even considered that. And how would we feed them? I doubt Cere has some secret stash of credits. Actually, I heard her arguing with Greez about the Haxion Brood at one point.” Cal wiped the tears from his cheeks and laughed. “What was I thinking? What were we  _ all _ thinking?

“Thank you, Cass. This is… Such a relief. I spent all of this time feeling like the future of the Jedi Order was on my back, but it’s just not possible. We still have to get the list to keep the Empire from the children.”

“Agreed. Now that they know it exists, they will not rest until they have it.”

“Right.” He let out another heavy breath and laughed. “Right. Wow. Okay. We can do this and then if Cere still wants to rebuild the order, she can go Seek more children.”

“Then let us find what we came here for and continue on our path.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Morning and welcome to TK hates the Jedi episode #238291082
> 
> Thank you for all of your lovely comments!


	14. Chapter 14

“Thank you for letting me bring Trilla back. I know incapacitating a Force user without maiming them isn’t easy.” Cere sat on the couch with Trilla, still unconscious, laid out next to her. “But I’m not sure what to do. Aside from Revan, I haven’t heard of any Jedi that came back after turning to the Dark Side and that was what, three thousand years ago?”

“Thirty-five hundred,” Cass corrected. She leaned against Greez’s terrarium and had her arms crossed over her chest. “And his second turn is disputed because he pursued a middle path of ‘the Force in Balance,’ as per his own devotees. Some scholars have speculated that is a revisionist retelling, but the Massassi ruins on Yavin IV suggest otherwise. It was the first place I investigated after my injury.”

“If you thought it was hopeless, I can’t see you hesitating to say so,” Cere said, clearly holding back her ire.

“She need not be Jedi to recover and no longer be a danger. I cannot speak for other races, but humans require a sustained support system to remain, for lack of a better word, healed from the torture. Even if you were to remove her memories of that time, the scars remain and need constant tending. Such a thing is incompatible with the Jedi Code.”

Cere held out her hand to brush Trilla’s hair away from her face, but dropped it without touching her. “What do you mean the scars remain even without the memories? I don’t think that’s a good strategy, I just… Want to understand what happened to her. To me.”

After several moments of thought, Cass rubbed her forehead. “Think of experience as… scoops of ice cream. Each is a different flavor dropped onto the others. Even if you remove the scoop,” she mimed the action, “traces of that flavor have bled into the whole. Recover is more difficult if the memories are removed, but I am able to… Make them less intense.”

“So you can heal her?”

_ Not quite, _ Cass signed. “I can heal the fractures in her Life Force and I can give distance to the memories, but she will need emotional healing. Even were my father still alive, there is no substitute.”

BD-1 whistled a question.

“He was the best human mind healer to ever exist. The gift is strong in my bloodline and we have been honing and passing down the techniques for generations.”

“I don’t like the idea of just… leaving her unconscious until we get the holocron. The recording from Cordova in the Miktrull’s tomb said we need an astrium and we have no idea what that even is,” Cal said. He was glad that Cass and Cere were interacting with significantly less hostility, but the reality of having an Inquisitor on the Mantis was… heavy.

“And restraints won’t do any good when she can just Force her way out,” Greez said. He paused and then chuckled.

“Actually… Seekers are taught a technique for binding the Force. It’s not a true severance, more like what I did to myself. We used it on children too old or otherwise unsuitable for training.”

“What does ‘otherwise unsuitable’ mean?” Cal asked. He looked at Cass for an answer, but she turned away from his gaze.

“It means…” Cere sighed. “I suppose there’s no use hiding it anymore. Royalty, the children of senators… People with enough influence to refuse to send their children for training.”

“Cere… I’ve been giving it a lot of thought.” Cal resisted the urge to look at Cass. He wanted her support, knew she would give it, but it was something he had to do alone. “We don’t have the money… The facilities… The security, anything, really, to rebuild the Jedi Order. I’m only a padawan and even if you come back, you’re only a Knight. No one wants Cass to be a part of it, least of all her, and yet without her, we wouldn’t even know what to do with Trilla. What happens if one of the kids gets sick? How will we find a doctor we can trust?”

“And talking about it with Cass, I suppose.”

“Cere.”

“I’m sorry; those are valid points.”

“He primary reason that since Cordova made the list at least five years ago, all of the children are already too old for training.”

Realization crossed Cere’s face with despair and embarrassment. She covered her face with one hand. “I hadn’t even considered that. Obviously Cordova had too much faith in me.”

Cass and BD-1 protested at the same time. Cass said, “It is not about you or even the Jedi Order. The Force led him to make the list, but he misunderstood its purpose. The geas we have taken is to protect the children from the Empire. If he found them, so, too could-” Her face wrinkled with distaste, “Vader.”

“Vader. You mentioned him before. Have you met him?”

“No, but that woman did. Ranted for days about the disgrace of it all. Cursed out Darth Bane so harshly my ears bled. She may have been evil, but she knew power. The Emperor has left him purposefully weak. She speculated that he plans to overtake the younger body. History does not disagree.”

“Weak?” Cere’s voice cracked. She laughed with an edge of hysteria. “He is anything but-”

“I have tried to be kind, but the strength of the Jedi was pathetic even before the Purge. None of them fought a Sith in generations, why would they teach their students how to? They let themselves grow complacent even while training child soldiers. How would you defend against a direct mental assault? Against trakata? Cal did not even know what the word meant. Do you?”

“Yes… But you’re right. We haven’t spent our lives dedicated to hurting others.”

“Any fish seems large in a sufficiently small pond.” Cass pushed off of the terrarium. “There is no doubt that he hurt you, and badly, but that woman lived, and raised me, in a galaxy were her peers were many and more likely to slit our throats than a Jedi’s. There is no one I despise more, but foolish she was not. If she said Vader is weak, he is weak.”

“So you think there’s no hope? That we have to just accept that the Empire is here for good and hide?”

“Certainly not. The way to defeat the Sith is the same as it has always been: give them the rope and let them hang themselves. In the meantime, we hand them nooses and protect what we can. The opportunity will come to be seized and we will take it.”

“But that opportunity isn’t a bunch of children scattered across the galaxy,” Cal said. He took Cass’ hand and squeezed. “Right now? For us? Trying to reform the Order is like running at the Emperor himself with our sabers drawn.” A memory hit him and he squeezed Cass’ hand again. She returned it, just the smallest pressure, but it was enough. “Master Tapal used to tell me: let the obstacles in the way become the way. Who knows what kind of support or tools or information we’ll get from the families we talk to about the children?”

For a long time, Cere simply sat and stared at them. She looked at Trilla and finally did brush her hair out of her face, touch light and gentle. Like a parent’s. Then she met Cal’s eyes. “I’m so proud of you. I thought I would be the one teaching you, guiding you and… I certainly wouldn’t have trusted Cass if you hadn’t begged me to give her a chance. Maybe I was too focused on trying to make up for breaking. You’re right. We have to walk the paths the Force puts in front of us, not try to make them lead where we want. When we find that emotional healer, I think I’m going to have a turn, too.”

“Um, is now a bad time to mention we’ve got an encrypted message from Kashyyyk?” Greez wrung both pairs of hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the doctor and got medicine for my plague.


	15. Chapter 15

Cass tapped on the terrarium glass. Three of the plants inside visibly reacted to the sound, turning like it was a sun. “Is this a wroshyr tree?”

Cal looked over her shoulder. “Yeah, I found a seedling for Greez when I was on Kashyyyk. It’s looking great, by the way!”

“Thanks. It’s no Origin Tree, but I’m proud of it.”

“Origin Tree? What’s that?”

Greez finished setting the hyperlane route and walked over to the terrarium, rubbing all four hands excitedly. “The Origin Tree is  _ the _ wroshyr tree on Kashyyyk. You can see it from orbit. It’s said to be the origin of all life on Kashyyyk. Hence the name.”

Cass narrowed her eyes at him. “I thought you hated nature.”

“When it’s out there, sure. But-”

“Wait, Cass, what if the carving in Eilram’s tomb wasn’t just a wroshyr tree? What if it was the Origin Tree? Then your theory about the sap could still be correct! It could heal you. Come with me to see Mari and Tarfful.” Cal beamed at her. Hope throbbed in his chest. He touched her hand and felt his face heat up when she grasped his fingers.

“If the Origin Tree is a great vessel of Force on Kashyyyk, that would explain why wookiees have no native Force traditions.”

“What do you mean? I’m sure there have been wookiee Jedi.”

“But the Jedi Order is not native to Kashyyyk. I am speaking of, say, the Miraluka and the Lukasene or the Chiss and their navigators. With the Origin Tree as the predominant Force being on Kashyyyk, it would absorb most of the ambient Force, leading Force Sensitive wookiees to never accidentally use the Force and thus never learn of their own Sensitivity.” She dropped his hand. “According to legends, Wookiee chieftains can identify… Sith even through disguises and illusions. It would make sense if they had latent Force abilities, but more relevantly… He may refuse to help you if I go with you.”

“But you’re not a Sith anymore. If it’s the Force that would tell him, then it’ll tell him you’re a friend. If he can’t accept you for who you are, I don’t want his help anyway.”

“Cal,” Cass admonished.

“You should go, Cass. Tarfful has been around a long time and seen a lot. I think you’re not giving him enough credit.” Cere moved to touch Cass’ shoulder, but changed her mind at the last minute, resting it on Cal’s instead. “I can’t imagine what you went through, growing up the way you did, but at some point you just have to reach out your hand and hope someone else takes it.”

“I would argue against the necessity of such a thing, but I will concede and go on-world with Cal.” She took his hand and Cal had to look away from her to keep the blush on his face to a minimum. “People have difficulty telling him no.”

“It’s his baby face.”

“Hey!”

BD-1 chirped.

“Come on, not you, too.”

Everyone laughed, but Cal could only hear Cass’ quiet chuckle. It was so strange. He’d had friends before, as much as he’d been allowed, but Cass was different and he didn’t think it was because she wasn’t anything like a Jedi. He always wanted to hold her hand, to hug her, to press their cheeks together and say things just for her to hear. It didn’t feel like friendship.

“I must prepare my things to go on-world.” Cass slipped out of his grip and walked to the back of the ship where she’d stored her pack and gear.

“What do you need to-” Cal felt himself blush up to his hairline when she pulled off her coat. “-um, prepare?”

“Since Tarfful will know who I am regardless, there is no need for subterfuge.” She replaced her fingerless gloves with a pair of elbow-length, red, reek leather gloves.

“Wait, so you’re going to pretend to be a Sith?”

She nodded without turning around. “Yes. Imperial soldiers will not question the credentials of anyone who looks the rank they claim to be. The message said that they had retaken the refinery. It will be easier for us to pass through the area if everyone bows rather than trying to fight us.”

“Why didn’t you do that on Zeffo?”

“I had plans to return to the Empire once I was healed. That woman had, and thus I inherited, a great deal of power and wealth. The danger of this strategy is that despite the amulet, I will be remembered and rumors of someone with my description being able to wield the Force were something I could not afford.”

Heart pounding in his chest, Cal swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “So you’re not going back to the Empire, then?”

As if she knew what he was feeling, she looked over her shoulder to meet his gaze. “I will not leave you when this is over. And you would not be safe there.”

“I, um, that is… I won’t leave you behind, either. We’re a great team and your perspective on things is… invaluable. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Something about the words made him feel vulnerable, like someone had ratcheted open his chest and left his heart on display, open to the galaxy. “It probably sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?”

“No, but you may feel differently when I am healed, when the saber at your back is red. You spent years under the Jedi’s influence; you may never be comfortable with it.”

“Not if it’s you, Cass.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he had a deep, instinctual urge to pull them back, to pluck them out of the air and shove them back down his throat like he never said them. “What I mean is…” But it was too late, there was the slightest tilt of her head and then a widening of the eyes that meant she knew… she realized… what? He didn’t know. He knew that he should know, but it was beyond him. He felt blind, like it was right in front of his face and he just couldn’t see it, but she did and everything was ruined.

“Cal…”

He forced out a laugh, trying to hide the hysteria in his throat and the wildness in his eyes. The back of his neck felt scorching, like the eyes of every Jedi master passed were staring at him; he rubbed it, but felt no relief. “Forget it. It’ll be fine. We’ll be fine, but we’ve gotta land on Kashyyyk, talk to Tarfful, find the Origin Tree, find whatever Cordova found there. It’s fine.”

“We will talk about this later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cass: ...oh he loves me.
> 
> Cal: [HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING]


	16. Chapter 16

Cal landed first, both feet and one hand touching down on the wooden platform. Ghost of memories stroked his hand like tendrils of smoke, but he kept them away with firm concentration. He turned and reached for Cass’ hand, though he needn’t have bothered. She floated gently down from the jump off the lung plant, her boots not making a sound against the old wood. Despite making their way across Kashyyyk together, the sight of her face with full tattoos on both sides. She may have made herself look like a Sith, but to Cal she looked like a mythological warrior.

He was so entranced, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Mari clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Cal. Good to see you again. Tarfful, this is Cal Kestis, a Jedi. Cal, this is Chieftain Tarfful. We heard the troopers talking about a Sith over Imp comms, but I didn’t think they were telling the truth.”

Despite his confidence, Cal had to swallow around the tension in his throat. “This is my friend, Cass. She’s been helping me follow Cordova’s research.”

Tarfful tilted his head down and narrowed his dark eyes at Cass. For a moment, she stood proudly, with her back straight and her saber obvious on her hip. The corner of her mouth twitched and slowly, inch by inch, she bent and lowered herself until she was kneeling before him in seiza with her head bent low. 

Water dripped from the trees around them and rushed through the river beneath the platform. Ages passed with the four of them in tense silence. Finally, Tarfful spoke. Long, ponderous words that Cal didn’t understand. He bit the inside of his cheek and felt a buzz across his skin and fought the tensing of his muscles. The last thing he wanted to do was attack Tarfful, but no matter how strong of a warrior Cass was, seiza was a crippling posture of submission. She wouldn’t be able to protect herself if he was ordering her execution.

Mari coughed and then pounded her chest as she tried to clear her throat. “He’s granted you formal,  _ very _ formal permission to travel on Kashyyyk.” She paused in her translation to glance at the chieftain. “It carries the meaning that you will act in defense of the world and its people.”

Cass lifted her head with her left hand positioned so that her palm faced out and her middle finger touched under her chin. It glowed white with the Force. When she opened her mouth, the sound that came out was a formal acceptance in the wookiee language. She winced and rubbed her throat, then looked to Cal for a hand up. “Thank you.”

Tarfful spoke again, but with normal language that Cal could mostly understand. 

Mari translated, “Cordova found what he was looking for at the top of the Origin Tree.”

“That makes sense, but I don’t even know where I would start.” Cal leaned back and looked up, but all he could see was solid canopy in every direction.

“Going in through the root system is going to be your best bet. Here, take this rebreather; most of it is underwater.” She passed one to Cal and held out a second one to Cass, who refused.

“There is a Force technique I can use.”

“Please, take it. Humor an old soldier like me. I’ll worry if you don’t.”

“If it will bring you peace of mind.” Cass bowed her head and took the rebreather, turning it over in both hands before placing it in her pocket. “Thank you. We do not know what it is, precisely, we are looking for, it would be for the best if we did not linger.”

“Good luck, kids. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Cal’s heart was full to bursting with emotions. He had nothing to fear from Tarfful, but he couldn’t imagine kneeling defenseless like that. Meanwhile Cass was dressed as an enemy and fit to burst with power and strength and she just… dropped all of it with her pride and lowered her head. She hadn’t spent the last five years trusting no one and on high alert. That had been her entire life and without pressure, she did what she had to- 

“Hey, I, uh… I’m really impressed by what you did back there. I know it was hard for you.”

Her blue eyes meet his and for the first time, he’s the one seeing through her, seeing the brittle chains holding everything together, the smallest flame fighting to stay alive inside. “Thank you” was all she said, the flame flickering from effort.

“Ready to go for a swim?”

“As I will ever be.”

Once they were underwater, Cal realized why Mari and Tarfful hadn’t been more specific with their instructions. He could feel the Origin Tree like it was the beating heart of the world. Though Cass lacked his size, she swam like a fish, which shouldn’t have been surprising, given that her ancestral homeworld was mostly water. An orphan his entire life, Cal had no idea how it would feel to have a legacy stretching behind him at all, let alone two that spanned several thousand years. 

The differences were subtle, but he was starting to discern where this speech pattern or that tilt of her arm came from. Nobility dripped from both bloodlines, but one was as smooth and certain as the tide while her Sith heritage was sharp and forked like lightning. He couldn’t hate either one. They spun around and between each other until they were inseparable. There was plenty of space between the roots, but Cal kept brushing against her in the water, as if trying to convince himself she was really there with him.

Cass broke the surface first and wrestled with her hair. “The air is thick with the Force. Perhaps Eilram’s observations were all correct.”

Grunting with effort, Cal pulled himself out of the water and onto the thick, half-submerged boughs. “It seems weird that Cordova didn’t mention it in his recordings, though. It’s kind of important that all of the Force on Kashyyyk is centered on the Origin Tree.”

“Perhaps, but it is not relevant to your task. I would wager he originally had many notes on it, but removed them when he reprogrammed BD-1 for this mission.”

BD replied that it was possible and suggested looking through Cordova’s things for the removed logs.

“That’s a good idea. I can probably speed up the process with a script that scans for just things like Origin Tree and Kashyyyk.”

“How would that help?” Cass gave him the sign for a play’s script.

“Oh, like an algorithm. Sorry, I thought it was obvious.”

“There were few computers and fewer droids in the estate. That woman did not care for anything whose mind she could not control.”

The deeper meaning stabbed Cal like a dagger. “Right. Well, I’ll handle it. Don’t worry.”

“Mmhmm. Time to climb.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, though. Good times ahead.
> 
> For us, not them.
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the comments 💜


	17. Chapter 17

Force pulsed heavy and dense in Cal’s veins as they climbed the Origin Tree. The echoes in the Force were so many that they overlapped and bogged him down with constant visions and waves of foreign feelings. He didn’t realize he’d stopped, let alone fallen to his knees, until Cass clutched both of his cheeks and called his name.

“Wha?”

“Your gift is too strong for this place.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s fine. I’ve got this.”

She wiped his cheeks with her thumbs and they were drenched in tears of tragedies past. Her eyebrows lifted to nearly her hairline.

“We have to keep going. Cere said the Ninth Sister is still on-world. We need to find out what Cordova discovered here and move on.” He put his hands over hers and let the warmth and feel of her Force seep into him. Despite the echoes that still clung to her scars, he was used to feel of her, used to her presence at his side. “I can’t just turn it off.”

“Close your eyes, Cal. Let me in.”

Cal closed his eyes and tore the locks off his mental gate one by one. Each was a memory that burned and tore at his heart, from his friends among the clones turning on him to Mastar Tapal’s death. He focused on the feeling of her passing him a memory in Eilram’s tomb, of their gifts meeting. He strained to hear the sound of the epic ballad, the King of the West…

She pressed their foreheads together and like flipping a switch, the gates fell open. He felt her flutter in like a ghost, but she left behind no echoes or impressions to clutter up his thoughts. He tried to make a visual space of his mind, something beyond the gates, so he could see what she was doing, but he was too slow, she was too good at her technique and the gates closed behind her as she pulled away.

“Shh. You may try to stand, but slowly.” Her voice was low and gentle and his gut twisted at the thought that she’d never spoken that way before. Never had anyone to be gentle with.

“What did you do? I feel… different, but… Well, I thought you were going to muffle my connection to the Force.”

“I am a professional, Cal Kestis. I muffled only your psychometry. You can push through the binding, with effort, just do not charge through like a rampaging krayt.” She helped pull him to his feet and then didn’t release his hand until he was steady on his feet.

“Do you think your theory was right? That the sap will heal the crack in your Life Force?”

She looked up at the thinning branches. “We will know, soon.”

Neither spoke as they ascended, alternating between lung plant jumps and more-standard climbing. To Cal, it felt… unnaturally natural, which didn’t make much sense. It felt like the tree wanted them to reach the top, like it was guiding them. He hadn’t felt such a strong connection with the Force since he was a youngling training on Coruscant in the Jedi temple.

Their destination was short of the very top. They both felt it deep inside like a bell ringing in their chests. Cal gasped, even as BD-1 jumped down from his shoulder and began to play back Cordova’s recording. Cass held his hand as they watched, standing still for the duration.

“An astrium… Have you heard of them before?”

Cass finally dropped his hand to kneel next to BD. “Do you have any better images of the astrium?” She rubbed her forehead as BD displayed a series of close-ups. “The word astrium is unfamiliar, but this object could be one of a few things. As it will unlock the vault on Bogano, I would guess a solar key.”

“A solar key?”

Cass stood and held her hands in a circle. “It is something kin to an astronomical model of a solar system, usually the one where the lock resides. The various celestial figures are positioned where they would be at a specific time. They are not common, as it is possible to brute-force a solution, but when they are used, it is usually by races with a large Force population.”

“If we can brute-force it, we don’t need to go to Dathomir.”

“I promise you, it would be significantly more painful to attempt to brute-force it. Possible does not mean plausible.”

“Right.” Cal rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, my big worry for Dathomir was my psychometry acting up, but if you can muffle it again, then we should be fine. So how do we get some of the sap? If you could just… I don’t know, cut it open, I imagine we could have done that down on the roots without all of the protective bark.”

“It would not work if I stole it. For now… Just stand back.” From a small pocket over her breast, she pulled a piece of white chalk. With durasteel concentration, she drew a complex sigil. Some elements looked Sith while others Cal had seen around the Jedi temple. When she was satisfied with the design, she unfolded a plasteel cup and set it in the center. At the edge of the sigil, she sat cross-legged with her palms facing the trunk of the Origin Tree.

She chanted, but the sounds that came out of her mouth did not match its movements. As the ritual commenced, her voice turned into a chorus with sounds that didn’t sound human. Enthralled, Cal could only watch in silent horror as she brought a knife to the back of her arm and let the blood drip into the cup. The wound healed on its own, as if it had never existed. A ball of Force energy formed over the cup with tendrils linking Cass to the tree. It glowed a soft green for several breathless moments before it coiled together and landed in the cup with an audible plop.

Cass rocked forward, catching herself with both hands. Cal was with her in an instant, wrapping an arm around her torso and supporting as much of her weight as he could. From that distance, he could see that the cup contained a cloudy, light green liquid. “That was amazing. What did you do?”

“I traded some of my blood for its.” She squeezed his hand over her chest and lifted the cup with her left hand. Her eyes closed as she drank it. The empty cup fell from her hand and she shivered in his hold. “Cal, whatever happens, you must let it.”

“What do you…” He trailed off, his question answered as her eyes clouded over with a white film. The shivers turned to convulsions and her skin bubbled like it was boiling. Her jaw fell open and then locked in a silent scream. “Cass? Cass!” He scooped her up in his arms and fought off the shaking in his limbs long enough to stand. With her writhing, it was difficult to keep a hold on her, but fear and the Force kept his grip true. The ground felt impossibly far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, yes, it's me. I'm sick again/still. Welcome to the joys of severe chronic illness.
> 
> I don't know if there will be a chapter tomorrow, but I am seeing one of my doctors so partial points. Stay tuned!
> 
> (If you are bereft, you can read [Aliit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22147654), which is a The Mandalorian fic that will meet up with this one for a sequel to both. Or you can read [Lessons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7754725) where Cass has a decidedly more Sith boyfriend. (Set in the Old Republic Era))


	18. Chapter 18

Once they were out of the crevice that had held the Zeffo’s astrium for so long, despair clawed at Cal’s heart. He was confident that he could hold Cass despite her unconscious struggles and he was sure he could hop down the tree with slides and the strange lung plants, but to do both at the same time seemed impossible. And if he did get her to the bottom, then what? Neither Mari nor Tarfful was a medic. Maybe their people had one, but would they even know what to do? He didn’t even know what was wrong. He swallowed and held Cass tighter as he walked out onto a large, open area made from intersecting boughs and a thick mat of vines and plant matter. 

He set her down on a thick pile of leaves and touched the smeared makeup that made her old markings. Her skin still rippled like a disturbed pond and her eyes stared sightlessly up at the sky. She was breathing, but only in wheezing pulls and harsh pushes. “Cass, what do I do? You said to let it happen, but I can’t lose you.”

“Aww, it looks like someone else got to the fake Sith first.” Heavy thonks accompanied the Ninth Sister’s voice. “I didn’t get her or the Second Sister. Guess I have to settle for the baby Jedi.”

“I won’t let you near her.”

“You’re the one I want anyway, baby.” She lit her saber and charged at Cal.

Even though he’d only seen flashes of Cass’ saber blade, the Ninth Sister’s looked wrong. It felt sick, diseased, corrupted, wrong. He hadn’t noticed anything on Bracca. Maybe he’d been too scared, too divorced from the Force after his years in hiding. Maybe he’d just shoved the negative feelings all into a box together rather than trying to pick them apart, but it was impossible to avoid as it clashed with Master Tapal’s blue blade.

“I don’t know what she thought you were so important. Oh well, breaking her souvenir is gonna have to be good enough for me.” The Ninth Sister’s strikes were heavy and based on shii-cho form, not that recognizing the form helped him fight. Despite her comment that Cass was already dead, she knew the writhing form was his weakness and kept maneuvering the fight ever closer.

“You know, you’re not bad for a scraprat. Your little fake Sith must have taught you a few tricks before she kicked it.”

“Don’t you talk about her!”

“Someone’s angry.” The Ninth Sister laughed. “Too bad I’m not going to bring you in. You would’ve been fun to break. The isolation… Torture… Mutilation…” It sounded like she enjoyed the memories now and her grin was too wide, the same way Cass’ had been when she intimidated Trilla. 

Cal locked their blades together. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be what they want.”

“And then what? Go back to the Jedi? I’d rather die.” Rage filled the Ninth Sister, shining bright enough in her eyes that it showed through her visor. Her strikes became erratic, overreaching and leaving herself open.

Cal saw his opening and took it, even though his stomach clenched as he cut off the Ninth Sister’s hand. “Stand down. I’m not asking you to return to the Jedi. I- I’m not even going back.”

“Nice try, but I’m never going to bend the knee again!” Ignoring her injury, she charged directly at Cass. 

With his heart in his throat, Cal had no choice but to Force push her away and watch in horror as the Ninth Sister slid off the edge of the platform and down to the depths below. Jaw trembling, Cal said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to-” He sighed.

On his shoulder, BD-1 let out a series of beeps and trills.

“I know, little buddy, but that doesn’t make me any happier about it.” He stepped up to the edge and knelt down, hoping he could see her… pull her back up… It was an empty hope, but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t fair that he’d saved Trilla and not given the Ninth Sister the same chance. He wasn’t strong enough to simply subdue her the way Cass was.

His heart clenched and he stood abruptly, going back to her. To his friend. He brushed his hand over her face again. Whatever the sap had done was… over. Her skin and body were still and her eyes were closed. The sight was almost worse. He could only see her the first time they met, when she was cold and barely clinging to life. With his blood pounding in his ears, he let his bare hand hover over her mouth, hoping he could feel her breath.

A great, shaking rumble took hold of the platform. He clutched her still form against his chest and waited for the shaking to subside. Though it pained him, Cal turned away from Cass to look for the disturbance. There, half-splayed on the platform was a huge, white bird.

“You’re a… shyyyo bird, right?”

The bird let out a low trill and pushed its massive beak forward to nudge the very top of Cass’ head. Twice it trilled and nudged her.

“Yeah, I… I’m trying.” Cal didn’t even know he was crying until he heard how broken and wobbly his voice was. His mouth curved painfully and he sobbed. He sobbed and held Cass and wished he could make it right. “Cass, please. Please, I-” He gasped and squeezed his eyes closed against the tears. “I think I love you, please.”

BD climbed down from his shoulder and tapped Cass with his foot. He turned his head to Cal and trilled.

Cal huffed in response. He couldn’t laugh. Wasn’t sure he’d be able to again. “I don’t think a spare battery will help, little buddy.”

The shyyyo bird trilled again, louder and nudged Cass harder.

Before Cal could protest, Cass’ face scrunched up and she made an unhappy sound, shifting away from the beak. Every thought in his head froze and clattered down to crash into the ground so far below.

“Are you sleeping?”

She turned her face to press into his vest.

“You’re sleeping. Cass…” The fresh tears were relief, were his worries spilling out of his face as his heart beat again. He pressed his forehead to her temple and reached out with his Force. Her Life Force was there: warm, bright and not leaking. “It worked. Cass it worked.”

She made a sound low in her throat and turned to face him, her eyes blinking open in the light. With painful slowness, she raised her hand and touched his wet cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cal, u dum fuk


	19. Chapter 19

Without thought, Cal covered her hand and pressed it hard against his face. “Good morning.”

Her eyebrows pulled in and she mouthed the word ‘what,’ but no sound came out. She pressed her face into his vest to cough, but didn’t pull her hand back even though it was an awkward angle for her shoulder. After catching her breath, she signed the question with one hand.

“You were asleep and then you woke up, so…” It sounded stupid to his ears, but he was too relieved to care.

BD-1 walked onto her chest and whistled. 

“What do you mean she looks different? Don’t be rude,” Cal chided.

BD beeped and pointed to her arms.

Only then did Cass pull back her hand. She looked at both of them, turning them over slowly with narrowed eyes. BD was right, most of the scars were gone. Each arm only had a single, thick line of branching scars. She opened and closed her hands several times, watching the way her fingers moved and appraising the way they felt.

“How’s the nerve damage?”

_ Gone, _ she signed.  _ Something is wrong with my throat and mouth. _

“Can you breathe alright?”

She nodded and then pushed herself into a sitting position. The shyyyo bird let out a happy trill and nuzzled her chest, almost knocking Cass over. She pet its beak and spoke in her ancestral language to it, then stretched and twisted her spine.  _ Yes. I believe it is associated with the blood curses. I am off balance. _

Cal wasn’t sure what that meant, but he didn’t think he’d understand if she had the signs to explain it. While he’d learned BSL, as a youngling they hadn’t exactly been discussing Force theory or Sith curses. “Can you get back to the Mantis, do you think? We didn’t bring much for camping, but we can meet up with Mari and Tarfful again if you need.”

She looked up at the sky through the canopy and the way the light brushed her features made the breath catch in his throat. He was a fool. The biggest idiot in the galaxy. He loved Cass and had never stood a chance of resisting. He reached for her hand and his heart skipped a beat when she took it.

She squeezed his fingers and then released them to sign,  _ It is not too late. We can descend after I rest. _ She paused, looked him over and then looked around the platform.

“I moved you after you fell unconscious.” He recognized her sign for  _ I know _ even though she was facing away from him.

She turned back to say,  _ What happened here? _ She pointed to the charred scoring from the lightsaber battle. She lit her red saber and walked through the marks, her slashes eerily similar to the actual fight.

Heart racing, Cal licked his lips. He’d known saber fighting was her specialty, she’d told him, he’d repeated it to her, but to see it, to see her show it off as easy as breathing… He swallowed, though his throat was too dry. “The Ninth Sister showed up.”

She shifted her stance, bringing her elbows in and moving her center of mass. The movements were sharper, harsher and accounted for the reach of a double-bladed saber. She deactivated hers and put it on her belt. She signed,  _ The bastardized juyo form would explain it, yes. _

“I couldn’t recognize it. I only learned a little shii-cho and shien.”

Her signs had the same ferocity as her juyo movements.  _ You are wasted as a combatant. They never should have taught you to fight. _

“We can’t change it now. I’d rather focus on the future.” With you, he left unsaid, though he could see it hanging in the air between them.

_ As you wish. _ She walked across the platform to where the shyyyo bird’s head still rested, turned to the side to watch them with one, large eye. She stroked its beak again and turned back to Cal.  _ This creature is fascinated with us. _

“I found one of its feathers on the way up. There wasn’t any reason to mention it at the time, but I think it’s connected to the Origin Tree, like your theory about the chieftains. It kept trying to wake you up.”

_ Possible. _ She turned and signed to the shyyyo bird, which was equal parts ridiculous and endearing. All the more so for the serious expression on her face. Cal couldn’t make out what she said from behind her, but in the end, it didn’t matter. Her gestures were… bouncy? It was hard to describe in Basic, but she was using the sign equivalent of baby talk.

BD-1 climbed up onto his shoulder and chattered into his earpiece. 

“Yeah, no need to worry about that.” He tried to shift his expression into something other than completely besotted, but gave it up entirely when she turned back with the smallest smile on her face. Cal really,  _ really _ needed to figure out what to do.

_ We can start down. While injured, I needed the Force to stay even properly balanced. It will be much easier. _

Cal walked up in time to see her sign,  _ Please move wing-baby, _ to the shyyyo and had to bite the inside of his cheek to from embarrassing himself.

As if it understood, the shyyyo shook its head and chirped like a fletchling at them.

Cass frowned, repeated the signs and then made shooing motions away from the platform’s edge. When the shyyyo still refused to move, she put her hands on her hips and gestured for Cal to do something.

“Well, psychometry is just a kind of very late empathy. I guess I could try.” He would have said it again. Would have taken a blast of Force lightning directly to his chest in order to recreate the sheer disbelief and  _ Are You Serious? _ on Cass’ face at his comment. It held hours of ranting that he hoped he would hear once she could speak again. He grinned at her, even though it cracked his chapped lips.

She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in disgust.

Cal laughed and nudged her shoulder with his. She knocked him back, but the look in her eye made it clear that if they were on the ground, the action would have sent him flying. He placed both hands on the shyyyo’s neck before he could get in any more trouble. He tried to concentrate on the message he wanted to send, but the bird’s thoughts hit him in the face like toys thrown from an angry child’s pram. “She wants to carry us to the bottom. That’s why she won’t get out of the way.”

_ Then who are we to refuse? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, I got some real bad news from the doctor, so please send positive vibes


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience regarding this chapter 🙏

The Mantis jutted out of the mist covering the war-torn landing site. Between the heavy canopy and the setting sun, little light broke up the grey shapes of debris and carnage. Cass moved differently with her Life Force healed. Her movements were as smooth as a dancer or holoactor: no wasted energy or momentum. Her footsteps had seemed silent before, but now there was nothing other than the sound of Cal’s heavy steps that reverberated as if she wasn’t even there. Her presence had been a warm light, but now felt like a star pulling him in.

“Cere might… React badly to the way you are now. She thought you reminded her of the Apprentice before, but now that you just…” He waved his hand, uncertain if he could explain how she felt without revealing his romantic feelings.

_ I can be subtle. For so long, I was a shadow of myself, _ Cass signed. She took a breath and as she exhaled, the power sunk back into her skin until Cal could barely feel her. A second breath turned her from ethereal and almost not there to… normal. For all intents and purposes, she felt like a Force blind.

“Wow… Your control is incredible.” Cal rubbed the back of his neck and fought back his blush. “I mean, I guess it would have to be in order to constantly hold your Life Force inside you for a year and never sleep, but I’ve never seen something like this before.”

_ Why would your masters need to hide what they were? _

“If they could… Maybe things would have gone differently.” He couldn’t get the image of Master Tapal’s last moments out of his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on Cass, the way she felt now, trying to slip it into the picture of her in his mind. She seemed so much more… approachable, though, even if she hadn’t had the mind or energy to hide herself like this before, she probably hadn’t wanted to be approachable anyway.

Cass tapped his shoulder until he opened his eyes and looked at her.  _ Do not think such things. It helps no one. The past is passed. Learn and walk forward. _

“You’re right. Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m a little in my own head about it.”

_ Not a bad place to be. I would know. _ She turned away and headed for the Mantis before Cal could process everything she said. Was she making a joke? Did she know how much he thought about her? It seemed to be the only thing she could mean, but there was a small chance she meant that she was always in her own head? Unlikely.

Cal threw the thoughts away and chased after her. “Hey, wait, I don’t think Cere knows sign!” He caught up and drank in her smirk like a flower that hadn’t seen the sun for a week of storms. He offered her his arm like he was supposed to escort some important dignitary and she took it with her dainty hand, feeling so small and fragile without her aura of power.

“You two look cheerful. Did you get what you were looking for?” Cere asked as they walked up the gangway.

“Cass is healed!” Cal released her hand and pulled BD-1 off his back. “The key to the vault is a Zeffo artifact called an astrium. Cass thinks it might be a solar key.”

“Solar key, huh? Knew someone on Nar Shaddaa that could crack those,” Greez said. He spun the pilot’s chair around and hopped down to talk to them. “Miraluka. Charged a pile of credits. Knew how to mix a Latearon Sunrise, too.”

“Greez…”

“Yeah, I know, no drinking! I was just saying.”

“Is he still on Nar? How much is a pile?” Cal turned to Cass. “I hate to ask, but you more-or-less inherited that woman’s-”

“No luck, kid. The Haxion Brood turned him over to the Inquisitors years ago.”

The news hit him like a punch to the gut. “He was a Jedi?”

“No, but apparently all Miraluka are a little Force Sensitive, so they paid the bounty anyway.”

_ We will be lucky if the Purge was not an unintentional genocide of the Miraluka. Intentional is giving the Empire too much credit. _ Cass was unphased by the opportunity born and ripped away in an instant, but then again, she hadn’t balked at the thought of going to Dathomir.

“What was that?”

“Oh, right! Cass can’t talk right now. A side effect of the healing. She was just saying that the Purge may have caused the Miraluka to die out.”

Cass pulled on his arm so he would look at her and translate.  _ I was mute from birth. The sap undid my measures to speak in order to properly fix my body. _

“Cass that’s horrible!”

_ All of my past is terrible. Just tell her and move on. We cannot change it. _

He squeezed her shoulder, wanting to do more, wanting to pull her into a hug and never let her go. As ridiculous as it had sounded to do nothing and let the Sith sabotage themselves, if her own mother had done so much to her… It was frighteningly reasonable. He caught the tired look in her eyes and sighed. “Alright.” He cleared his throat. “She was mute until she killed That Woman and did a hack job to get her voice and the healing just fixed it the right way.”

“Since you both know sign, it’s not that big of a hurdle. Since Greez’s cracker is out of commission, what’s our next step?”

Greez muttered a ‘Sorry, I was just trying to contribute’ and returned to the cockpit.

“Cordova seemed to think there was an astrium on Dathomir, but going on world really disturbed him, which lead him to the one on Kashyyyk. There’s a tomb of a Zeffo sage there, Kujet.”

“If it bothered Master Cordova, you might have a hard time with your psychometry. If it’s too much…” Cere braced herself with a deep breath. “If it’s too much, I’ll go on world with Cass. While watching over Trilla… I’ve begun to heal my connection with the Force. The least I owe her is to help in every way I can.”

Cass gestured sharp and fast, expression a hard frown.

“Cass says you don’t owe her anything because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“We can agree to disagree for now. What matters is that you don’t have to push yourself, Cal.”

“Thank you, Cere. It should be fine, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

_ I will do what healing on Trilla I can while we travel, _ Cass signed. Once she saw understanding on Cal’s face, she touched his hand and disappeared into the back.

“I take it she’s going to check up on her?” Cere asked, staring after her.

“Yeah, she’s been really happy to use her skills now that she can.” He didn’t think he should say what he was going to, but being honest had been the best route so far. “If she’d been… The way she is now when I met her, I probably would have felt the same way you did. It’s like being a table knife next to a Mandalorian war blade.”

“I see. But you trust her still?”

“Absolutely. You didn’t see it. She was signing at this giant bird like it was a loth cat cub she was taking home. She didn’t turn herself into a weapon; she was forced into one. And I know she’s prickly, so between everything… We’re probably the first people…”

“Yeah, Sith aren’t exactly known for their ability to make friends. As much as I trust her good intentions, for now, I think there’s a lot you can teach her about being a person instead of just a Sith.”


	21. Chapter 21

Dathomir’s red sun laid a warm haze over everything from the rocks to the plant life to Cal’s own skin. It was eerie and made his skin itch even though he knew it wasn’t harmful. The landscape didn’t help: red-brown cliffs stretching out in every direction. Greez hated Dathomir and had only been slightly mollified by the landing coordinates left by Cordova with BD-1’s recordings. Even with his psychometry muffled, there was a tense feeling in Cal’s gut. Worse than when they approached the Tomb of Miktrull. He touched the center of Cass’ back, her coat left behind for such a warm biome. “How are you holding up?”

“This place feels like home. For better and worse,” she said. Her voice was weak, barely above a whisper and with rough edges, but back. She turned her face toward the red sun and breathed deeply. “The Force history here is old. And bloody.”

“Do you know anything about it? About the Nightsisters?”

“Their Force use is almost entirely focused on mind manipulation. Do you remember how I cast illusions on my appearance?”

Cal couldn’t forget, not with the way her Sith markings had been two separate punches to the gut, but he only nodded in response.

“Their skills are in that direction, but on a larger scale.” Cass swept out her arms to gesture to the entire planet. “For all we know, this world could be as green and lush as Kashyyyk, but generations have made it impossible to see the truth.”

Cal knelt to the ground and touched the rock, reaching out with his psychometry. “I don’t feel anything.”

“Precisely. Only the source of the technique or the anchor to which it is bound-” She paused to cough, her right hand glowing softly as she clutched her chest. “-Only the source would give you a reading. Feeling here, if there is such an illusion, is kin to picking up a stray wire and expecting to know what machine it connects to.”

“What about the creeping fungus vines?”

“They would also be a part of the illusion, replacing normal… plant vines.”

“Is this one of those ‘gender is a societal construct’ conversations where I don’t really understand it and it sounds wrong, but I’m pretty sure the person talking to me is right?”

“Gender is a social construct.”

Cal laughed, more in an attempt to relieve the tension in his gut than anything. “Yeah, I know. You can try to explain it to me later. We should try to find the tomb before Greez leaves without us.” He led the way down the rocky slope, nearly jumping out of his skin when the ground collapsed in front of his feet. He looked over his shoulder at Cass, who responded with a raised eyebrow. An illusion of rocks falling when someone tried to approach would make sense, but he didn’t like how real it was.

At first, their only opposition was the terrain itself and a few acid-spitting spiders. “Spiders are the most common fear among humans and races forked from humanity, like chiss and miraluka. They could very well be any kind of creature-”

“You’re just doing this to tease me, aren’t you?”

Cass stopped following him. She stood still with an unhappy tilt to her mouth and a crease between her eyebrows. “Since it bothers you, I will stop.”

“Wait- That wasn’t-” Cal sighed and bit his lip. He didn’t understand why she was upset. He’d been sure she was just winding him up. “I didn’t mean it that way… And I don’t know why it made you sad.”

“It is… An interesting question of Force theory and psychology. I have had no one to discuss such things with since my father died.” She curled in on herself, as if a defensive posture would make her feel less vulnerable. “I never cared for such things when I had them, but now…”

“I’m sorry. You’re right, it is an interesting question. And I’m not really afraid of spiders. This doesn’t seem like an insect-heavy biome, or fauna-heavy at all. So what could they eat to survive in such numbers?”

She couldn’t meet his eyes, but she whispered a ‘Thank you’ as she walked past him and up into the ruins. Despite the discussion on whether or not the spiders were real, she still skirted around the puddles of acid. “These stones are more weathered than those on Zeffo, but I can make out some of the writing. I am unable to read much, but it is very common political rhetoric.”

“‘We’re the best. Everyone else is pitiless worms unworthy of basic rights?’” Cal asked in an affected voice.

“In that vein, yes. It explains why it feels so much like Dromund Kaas.”

Together they went deeper into the ruins. Just as BD-1 hopped off of Cal’s shoulder to scan something on the ground, Cass stopped Cal with a hand on his arm. “I feel-”

Force energy curled out of the ground and a woman stepped out of nowhere to face them. She wore stylized red-robes with gold jewelry. She stared down her nose at both of them. “You trespass, Jedi.”

“You must be a Nightsister. We heard you were all dead.”

The Nightsister raised her right hand and it smoked with green power. “Not all. Dathomir is forbidden to you.” Behind her, two Nightbrothers appeared through the same technique that brought her to them. “Leave at once.”

“Whoa, hold on, we’re not your enemy.” Cal held up both hands to placate her.

“Your actions say otherwise.” The Nightsister chanted in a foreign language, casting some kind of sorcery and then disappeared before they could argue.

The two Nightbrothers charged, maces raised, but collapsed mid-step, the Force softening their fall to the ground. Their chests moved with each sleep-slowed breath.

Cass lowered her hands. “Why would she hate the Jedi? The Emperor slaughtered her people. In retaliation for Dooku taking one as an apprentice.”

“Wait, what? That’s not what Cere said.”

“How would she have known the Emperor’s motivations? I know because he was making an example of Dooku and an example is worthless if no one sees it.”

“That’s horrible!” Cal looked at her expression and sighed. “Yes, I know, everything about the Empire is horrible, but if it stops making me feel bad, that’s a sign that something’s wrong with me.”

“That is… Not entirely untrue, but I doubt you have the capacity to sink so low.”

“I-” Cal bit his tongue to stop the rest of the confession. The rest of the words crashed against his teeth and screamed to be said.  _ I love you. I love you. I love you. _ But he couldn’t let them. This wasn’t the time and definitely wasn’t the place, even if all he wanted was to grab her into a hug and never let go. “Thanks. How long will they be out for?”

“A few hours. Long enough for whatever sorcery she cast on them to fade. Since you do not wish to fight her… It is better than killing them.”

“I really don’t. Since the Purge… I know what it’s like to lose all of your people. And I can’t be the one to kill the last Nightsister.”

“I am certain you would have felt the same even if you had not lost anyone.”

_ I love you. _ “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your comments and support! :D
> 
> Apologies to everyone who got alerts for Chapter 22, AO3 is sick this morning.


	22. Chapter 22

After leaving the sleeping Nightbrothers behind, Cal and Cass did their best to sneak through the village. The Nightbrothers were able to resist Cal’s mindtricks, either naturally or a result of living under the Nightsisters for so long, but Cass was able to keep them distracted for long enough for the pair to pass through without a fight. While the village wasn’t far from the Zeffo ruins, there was a clearly defined dead zone where almost nothing grew and even the acid-spitting spiders steered clear. 

Which made the sight of the black-robed man all the more jarring. 

_He is corrupted,_ Cass signed.

 _How can you tell?_ Black was a common color for clothing in desert biomes, as were robes, whose loose fabric kept the heat off of a person’s skin. Not that Cal doubted her.

 _I can feel it; his aura is enraged by a hunger it cannot sate._ Cass’ nostrils flared every time she glanced back at the man.

Cal rubbed the back of his neck. _Any chance he’ll just let us through?_

 _If he does, we will not like what we find._ She frowned. _But we do not have much choice. If you wish to speak to him, I will not stop you._

He could read her ideal plan in her eyes and posture. If Cass were alone on Dathomir, she’d kill the man and move on without a second thought. He was corrupted and would be dangerous to have at her back. Most of him agreed with her, but he couldn’t… Could let his feelings for her dictate his actions. _I’ll go first._

Cal pulled out of the shadows without waiting for a response, trusting her to have his back. He leapt across the gap, made space for Cass, and then turned to the man.

“Ah, hello fellow wanderers. I see you met the resident Nightsister. Unlike most, you survived. Oh, a lightsaber. Both of you! That would explain your survival.” The man gestured as he spoke and leaned into their personal space. The tone of his voice, his mannerisms… It put Cal on edge.

“Who are you?”

The man made an exaggerated ‘Who, me?’ gesture. “N-no one to fear.” The fake stutter of surprise was grating. “I am just a traveller. Studying the nature of extinct cultures and philosophies.”

“You study the Nightsisters?” Cal asked, venom bleeding into the question. The Nightsisters weren’t extinct and if they were, if they never recovered from the slaughter, it was far too soon for any academic to be shoving his nose in.

“I study many things.” Even if Cass hadn’t warned him of the man’s corruption, his own self-awareness and self-preservation alarms would have been screaming. “But yes, that Nightsister. She was only a child when the war came to this world.”

Cass made a sound with the back of her throat, something between a scoff and growl and suddenly Cal knew exactly what she was thinking. This man, whomever and whatever he was, lusted after the Nightsister. For her knowledge, her body or both. Disgust definitely showed on Cal’s face, since he did nothing to stop it, but the man didn’t react.

“She had to watch her whole family perish.”

“The war did that to a lot of us,” Cal bit out through clenched teeth.

“Not you, though. You were a Jedi. Didn’t have any family to lose.”

At the end of his patience, Cal walked to the edge of the stone platform. “We’re going to be going.”

“I can’t recommend going that way. The Nightsister and her kin were seduced by the power that lurks within. You should avoid those ruins. Or suffer the same fate.”

“We’ll be fine, thanks.” 

Just as Cal was about to jump, he felt Force intuition like a slap to his face, he spun just in time to see Cass snatch her arm out of range of the man’s grip.

“You! You are not Jedi!” The anger spit from his words like daggers, but Cass stared at him without fear.

Cass spoke to him in a harsh and throaty language whose words left her teeth bared.

“I will not be threatened by some child!” He drew his lightsaber, but not before Cass’ was lit in her hand. 

With both red blades so close, the difference was obvious. Cass’ shone with a steady red light, a hue shift from any blue or green blade. Meanwhile the stranger’s crackled and spat like a fire pit full of trash and debris.

“The Nightsisters’ knowledge is not yours to consume,” Cass hissed at him. She blocked his first blow and parried the second before sidestepping away from his follow up strike. They both moved so quickly with the Force pushing their bodies past human limits that Cal could barely follow each exchange. 

“I am Master Taron Malicos and I will not be condescended by some Sith brat!” He pulled a second saber out of his robe and lunged at her with two spitting red blades.

Under the onslaught, Cass was reduced to quick blocks and dodges, her feet skidding loud against the stone as her concentration pulled Force away from even subconscious applications. 

Cal could feel every pounding beat of her heart under his own skin. Desperately, he wanted to help, but with how they both spun and expertly swung their blades, he knew any interference would make things harder for her, not easier. His heart -- and lungs and liver -- shot up and blocked his throat when Malicos cut off the end of her ponytail. The tension in his body was so tight he couldn’t even smell the acrid scent of burnt hair.

Cass was a battlemaster, but Malicos had decades of experience on her. She hadn’t taken any real hits, but she’d only just healed. Only just slept for the first time in a year. Then she met his eyes and fear sent all of his organs to drop the bottom out of his stomach. Was he distracting her? But before that thought even finished he knew the truth, knew what she was asking. He threw his saber to her and it activated before she’d even grabbed it out of the air.

With two blades, she switched from defense to offense, driving Malicos back with every slash. Once she had the advantage, she switched to trakata, turning off and on the blades so quickly that Cal wouldn’t have seen it if he hadn’t been looking for it.

“Your pathetic Sith tricks could never-” But the rest of Malicos’ grandiose speech died with Cal’s lightsaber through his gut. He slumped forward onto the blade like a puppet whose strings had been cut, thumping dully on the stone when Cass deactivated both weapons.

She looked down her nose at his body, poised for some cutting remark or to cast some cruel sorcery. But none came. By inches, her posture relaxed until she clipped her hilt to her belt and held Cal’s out to him. “He was a scholar, once. His was an ancient saber form. I had only seen it in holocrons.”

“I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.”

Cass didn’t answer. She squeezed his forearm when he took his hilt. Different expressions pulled her face in every direction and she shivered. After taking a moment to collect herself, she straightened and nodded at him. “We should continue on.”

“Are you… okay?”

“No, but I will be, in time. The old thoughts are… strong.”

“I believe in you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy, I'm playing D3 again, surprising no one. Thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

Cass was subdued as they made their way to the Tomb of Kujet. Her footsteps were once again soundless, but her aura was subdued, just inside her skin. Cal struggled with his own feelings in silence. Was it really that difficult for her to hold back the… Sithness? He wasn’t even sure what she could have done that was worse than killing Malicos, but she’d stood over the body, her power thrumming and sharp. Surely making a mocking or derisive comment wasn’t the Dark Side, but as she’d told him, evil and the Dark Side were two different things.

The oppressive malignance of the tomb itself didn’t help. It loomed in front of them, whispering scorching promises of power and influence, as if it wasn’t a tribute to someone’s death. 

Cass touched the door with her fingertips, flinched and then pressed them in harder with a determined frown. Cal could feel the Force echoes sending him clarion calls, tempting him with knowledge and secrets of the past, despite the muffling of his ability.

“This was made with Dark sorcery,” Cass whispered. The sound lingered in the air between them before disappearing into an eerie, too-quiet that pervaded the space around the tomb. “I would not call it living, but it has… purpose.”

BD-1 beeped and whistled.

“We’ll be careful, little guy, don’t worry. Cordova was alone when he came here. We have the advantage,” Cal said. He glanced at Cass and then put his hand on the door, pressing his Force in to activate the mechanism. Inside was even more decadent than the Tomb of Miktrull. The walls were decorated with detailed carvings and inlaid with precious metals. All along the sides were offerings, but together with the miasma of unease, it all felt gaudy and needlessly brash.

They approached another set of doors, these more elaborately decorated. Cass looked up at the carvings, squinting as she translated. “BD, please shine your light on these.” Her lips moved silently as she worked through the words, the crease between her eyebrows deepening.

“What does it say?”

“It is… Very esoteric. Poetic. Were this a Jedi’s tomb, I would say it is a riddle.” She ran her fingers over the symbols as she read, going back and forth between the doors. “Wait… This cannot be.” She leaned back to reread the symbols at the top.

“What is it?”

“Most of it explains who Kujet was, their accomplishments, et cetera, but when it comes to who may enter, it says… It translates to one of my father’s sayings.”

“Really?” Cal hesitated, but put his hand on her shoulder and stood as close as he dared. “What saying?”

Cass braced herself with a deep breath. “‘The only measure that matters is how long you can look into your own eyes.’” She shook her head and stepped back until she was pressed against him. “I do not think I should engage with this. Not now.”

“It’ll be okay. I’ve got this.” He pressed his cheek to her hair and then stepped forward. He closed his eyes and then pressed his hand against the door. He felt it immediately. The miasma coalesced into a serpent that shot through his arm and into his chest. He blinked from the impact and when he opened his eyes, he was back on the ship before the Purge. Despite the five years in between, he remembered the day in perfect detail. He knew the names and numerical designations of every clone trooper on the ship, they were inscribed on the daggers in his back.

Trapped inside his younger body, Cal could only watch in horror as the events unfolded the same way they had over and over in his nightmares. He wanted to scream, to warn himself, to warn Master Tapal, but he couldn’t change the past. Waking from the vision as the airlock shut on the escape pod was a relief. He turned to tell Cass it was over, he’d done it, but something about her appearance stopped him. At first, he didn’t know what it was, but as he looked, her blue eyes paled and shifted to yellow. Then an orange so vibrant they glowed in the dim tomb.

She smiled too-wide, too much like a predator, like she had at Trilla. “What a good, little Jedi,” she said. “Your kind truly does do whatever they are told without question.” She turned the astrium over in her left hand. “So simple, so easy to manipulate. All I needed to do was trigger your savior complex and the list was mine.”

“...Cass, this isn’t like you.”

She laughed, but it sounded like the shrieking of carrion birds. “And how would you know? You are a failure, weak. Not even pitiable. That would require you having the potential to be something more than you are. You could not stand against Malicos. Do you truly think you could protect anything from the Emperor?”

“You don’t want to do this. It’s just the tomb influencing you. Just… give me the astrium, we’ll go back to the Mantis and-” Cal cut himself off when she lit her lightsaber and shifted into a ready shien stance. “Cass!”

“Not even going to fight for your life?” She tossed her ponytail. “Well, why would you? You fancy yourself in love with me. I have all the charisma of a stone, but the Jedi left you so desperate, I needn’t even have fluttered my eyelashes at you.”

Cal licked his lips and swallowed. This was wrong. It was wrong. He  _ knew _ Cass. Knew this wasn’t her. It had to be the tomb’s influence. She would never turn on him, but when she leapt at him, he had his saber up to block. “Cass, please. I know you’re still in there. The real you.”

She leaned into their crossed sabers, the red light from hers casting shadows like her old Sith markings on her face. “I have never been more real.”

“No!” His shout was a shockwave in the Force. It shattered the crystal in his saber and threw Cass away from him until her body crashed into one of the tomb’s walls and crumpled like a ragdoll. Half-blnd with terror, he ran.

At the entrance to the tomb, Cal tripped and fell face-first onto the stone. Then everything shifted and he found himself in front of the inner doors again, hands pressed to the floor. With shaking hands, he lifted his lightsaber, but the blade didn’t respond. The crystal broken inside, just like in the vision. His head was so full of confused thoughts, it may as well have been empty. He touched his face and his hand was wet from tears.

The vision was over. He hadn’t gotten inside the inner chamber, let alone retrieved the astrium for Cass to take, but she was gone. 

“BD?”

His question got no response.

“BD-1!” Again, nothing. He hugged himself and fought against the Force rising up in anger and fear. Alone and freezing, he staggered back to the Mantis with his broken lightsaber. Cere took one look at him and pulled him onto the couch.

“Cal… Where’s Cass?”

“Gone,” he croaked. He held out his useless lightsaber hilt. Not even his, Mastar Tapal’s. “Gone and I failed. I failed and couldn’t get in. It’s over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops.


	24. Chapter 24

Cere spoke with Greez in the cockpit and then rejoined Cal on the couch. She put her hand on his shoulder, but it offered no comfort or warmth against the ice in his chest. “What happened? Did you find the tomb?”

“It was so Dark, Cere. Cordova was right to give up on it. We went inside and Cass- She turned on me. She took the astrium and-” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and fought back a scream. He clenched his jaw so hard he felt his teeth screech against each other.

“It’s okay, Cal. It’ll be okay. She doesn’t know where Bogano is. We can just camp out at the Vault and stop her from going inside.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “You can’t blame yourself for being taken in. True Sith are… something else.”

“No, but she couldn’t- I know-” He gasped and choked on the sob in his throat. He steadied himself with deep breaths, but it did little for the thoughts racing in his head. “No. I saw a vision. Not a vision. A nightmare.” He swallowed and wiped his face. He had to make Cere understand. He had to understand. “I touched the door; it was a test. It showed me that day. The day of the Purge, when the Clone Troopers turned on us. When the memory ended, I thought I’d passed the test, but there was more.”

Cere tightened her grip on his shoulders and nodded. “Cordova said that he saw something horrible on Dathomir.”

Cal grabbed his arms, fingers digging into the coarse fabric, as if it could ease the cold. “We didn’t even get past the doors, but she had the astrium. She said… terrible things. That I was easy to manipulate. A perfect Jedi, just following orders without question. She fought me. Wouldn’t back down.” He was back in the tomb. Over and over he saw his shout fling her into the wall. Saw her slump lifeless onto the floor. Once, twice, seven times until he wanted to gouge his own eyes out. “I- Cere, I killed her.”

“It was just part of the test. The tomb made you think she’d turned on you,” Cere said. There was no doubt in her voice. No question or suspicion that perhaps Cass had betrayed them after all. “You didn’t hurt her.”

“But she was gone! I- I fell and when I got up the vision was over. I was on the floor by the door, but she was gone. She and BD were gone.” His breath hitched in his chest. “She left. She left and if she didn’t, then I left her. I just ran and abandoned her.”

“She’s strong. She’ll be fine when we get back.”

“You didn’t see her.” He swallowed, even though it felt like forcing glass down his throat. “We were attacked by… by a former Jedi. Taron Malicos. He was corrupted. You could tell just from the way he talked, but I thought he was going to rip out Cass’ throat with his bare hands. She killed him, but she was shaken. She’s still recovering. What if she’s not alright? What if she’s in danger?”

Cere took his hands and squeezed them. “We’re two former Jedi with two broken lightsabers. If we want to help her, the first thing we need to do is build new lightsabers. Both of us. It’s time for me to stop letting my fear control me. I told Greez to fly to Ilum.”

Cal shook his head. “I’m not a Jedi anymore, Cere. I can’t just go back and-”

“There is another vein.”

Cal froze and Cere jumped to her feet, spinning to face Trilla. She looked terrible, makeup combined with natural heavy eyebags to leave the appearance of two, tired blackeyes. Her shoulders were slumped forward and her skin looked ashy. Her Inquisitor cape was pulled tight around her like a blanket against the chill. Her eyes were bloodshot, but more brown than yellow. 

“Trilla.”

“I have had much time to reflect, locked in my own mind by Silence. I am angry… Hurt. Betrayed. But I won’t hurt you. Either of you.” She sat on the edge of the couch furthest from Cal, pulling on the cape as if could press into her skin tighter, as if it could wrap up everything that hurt or stem the bleeding of her heart. “I used the skills you taught me, the slicing, to find the landing site on Ilum Darth Vader used to retrieved his crystal. I thought that one day I’d go, make a stronger blade and strike him down.”

“Trilla, I’m so-”

“Not now.” Trilla stared determinedly at the floor. “I can’t bear to hear it now. Maybe never, Cere, but certainly not now.”

“How can we trust you?” His own question made Cal want to laugh. Want to cry. He was just emotion squished into human form.

“Because it’s in my own interest that you can fight. With my Force fettered by a Seeker’s technique, I’m helpless if the others attack. There is no one the Sith hurt as much as their own. I refuse to go back.”

Feeling sick, Cal met Cere’s eyes. Cass had said the same thing, that the Sith’s greatest weakness was the Sith themselves. Trilla had tried to kill him, but her words rang true, they echoed and reverberated and cracked the ice in him. He licked his cracked lips. “At some point you just have to reach out and hope someone takes your hand, right?”

Cere stared into her former padawan’s eyes for an eternity. At long last, she sighed. “Show me. On the holomap.”

Trilla stood and shuffled to the terminal, looking even smaller than Cass. Her hands were quick on the controls, entering information and manipulating the image to show the landing place before darting back into the safety of her cape.

“This is… This canyon is so narrow. Are you sure?”

“There are whispers about Vader. That he was a general and skilled pilot in the Clone Wars. For the Jedi. He could certainly make the landing in a TIE fighter.”

Cere took a loud breath. “Do you believe the rumors?”

“He splashes his heart’s blood everywhere he goes. Yes, I believe it.” Trilla retreated to the couch and pulled her feet up, tucking them inside the protecting covering of her cape. 

Cere leaned over the console. “Greez isn’t going to like it, but I have faith he can get us close enough. It might be a bit of a hike, but I’m up for it. What do you say, Cal?”

He wanted to go back. He wanted to find Cass. He wanted to apologize. To hold her and confess his feelings and beg for forgiveness. But if it was perfect? If she was fine and forgave him and BD-1 was with her, then what? She’d push to repair his weapon immediately, too, as much as she thought he shouldn’t fight. She wasn’t the creature from his vision. She would understand that other things had to come first. Only half-believing it, Cal wiped his eyes again. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s try it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, where're Cass and BD???


	25. Chapter 25

Trilla’s canyon was deep, necessitating a nearly vertical descent. The walls were blue, streaked with veins of thick, white… Well Cal didn’t really know. He assumed ice, but the blue was also ice, so he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to keep focused on his surroundings and not Cass and BD and Dathomir. It didn’t really work. His boots crunched through the thin layer of icy snow on the canyon floor. Cere walked just behind him, wrapped up in a thick, black coat.

“It’s been a long time since I looked at any geological studies,” Cere said, “but if I had to guess, this will break off into the crystal mine at the hairpin turn.”

Cal nodded. Yards and yards above them, ice formed bridges across the canyon, breaking up the light and creating fractured rainbows below. It was beautiful. He wished he could show Cass. Maybe one day they could come back. The cold didn’t bother him as much as he thought it should. When he’d collected his original crystal, so many years before, he hadn’t noticed it, but he’d been a child, then. Practically still was… He wondered if it was his Force Sensitivity holding back the chill or if he’d been from an ice world originally. 

As Cere predicted, a narrow crevasse shot off from the canyon at the turn, cutting deep and down into the mountain. It didn’t look artificially carved, but Cal knew nothing about mining. He had to slip in sideways, his chest and back pressed just enough to make his ribs ache. 

_ This is the way; will you be able to fit through? _

His heart hurt, too.

Finally, Cal made it through the crevasse into an open cavern. It looked like it had been a gorge at one time whose open top was slowly iced over until only small holes remained to let light in. It would have been impossible to see from the sky. The ground beneath his boots was as much rock as it was ice and he knew they were in the right place. His skin buzzed with ambient Force energy. It filled his lungs to bursting and he wanted to weep overwhelmed tears. He swallowed them down and turned to Cere. “The Jedi mine didn’t feel like this.”

“That one’s been stripped by thousands of years of Jedi. While I wouldn’t call this section untouched, there are definitely more here.” She walked up to one of the walls and scraped at the ground with one boot. “Look here. There’s a durasteel panel. Maybe there was a support here, long ago. Who knows how many times this place has been lost and rediscovered?”

Cal closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright. I remember how to do this.” He spread his awareness out in the Force. Cere was a familiar blip nearby, but the thing that ground against his senses was Cass’ absence. He’d grown so used to her so quickly and now he felt exposed and vulnerable without her. And he’d abandoned her. He squeezed his eyes shut again. No, he couldn’t concentrate on that. Couldn’t let negative emotions cloud his mind.

He felt it, then. A flicker against his mind. A pinprick that resonated with his Life Force. He opened his eyes and his body relaxed. His shoulders dropped, all tension flushed out by the scant connection to the crystal. He couldn’t see it, but it didn’t matter. His feet walked without active command, taking confident, silent steps across the cavern. He rolled to a stop on the balls of his feet at the cavern wall. Distress and confusion couldn’t breach the heavy lassitude over his body. 

Head tilted, he examined the wall with only the lightest brush of interest. At ground level was another metal plate, this one cut through halfway, the rest disappearing under the wall. He tilted his head to the opposite side and reached out with his right hand. He pushed his psychometry through Cass’ muffling and brushed it against the wall. No emotions came with the echo, nor did any images come to his mind’s eye. The echo held only a melody, whisper-quiet, but thrumming strong in his veins. Wonder bloomed in his chest, pushing past the artificial stillness. He pulled hard at his memories and once he was certain, once it as clear enough to repeat, he sang part of the ballad of the King of West. 

The wall responded, ice screeching against metal as it slid open. Cut into the stone was a workshop. Cubbies were cut into the walls and full of metal scraps and component parts. Cal could hardly believe his eyes because in the center was a saber forge. He reached out with the Force and felt the insulated shaft that cut straight down toward the center of the planet. How was it possible to build such a thing? Had some ancient Force user brought in machinery from the open top of the gorge and drilled down? Or was it a creation of Force ingenuity? It was too old to tell, even if the counters on either side were littered with modern saber parts and other technological brick-a-brack.

The feel of his crystal was forgotten as a delicate box on the counter caught his attention. It was a black so pure it seemed unreal, seated on an untied green kilik-silk ribbon. It took only a whisper of pressure to push the ajar lid completely off. Inside, matching green velvet had an empty indent… and a second indent with a familiar saber lying idle. It was Cass’. Or a twin to Cass’. Still staring at the saber, Cal flicked on a small holounit, playing back the recording.

A man in robes with long hair tied behind his back appeared, his holoimage looking remorseful with head bent down.  _ “I know you still hate me, Sai, but I am out of time to make it up to you. You should have been my first commitment, the only responsibility that matters, but that is just another way I have failed you.” _ He rubbed his forehead in an achingly familiar manner and Cal realized Cass had never been worrying at her Sith marks.  _ “But beneath it all, even you cannot deny my skill in other areas. These are all I have left I can give you, my love. I have named them Honor and Duty, as you inevitably would have. I pray they will protect you where I could not.” _

Cal reached into the box. The saber on Cass’ hip held the memory of her father’s love. The abandoned one carried an echo of her. It pierced Cal’s heart and made him jerk from the intensity.

_ Cass snarled and threw the second saber back into the box. “I killed her. I did what you failed to. I killed her and I refuse to walk the path she dragged me down. How dare you ask me to?” _

Cal gasped as the echo faded. He wiped Cass’ tears off his cheeks and swallowed the lump in his throat. Clarity hit him like a bell run between his ears. Kujet’s Tomb made him face his greatest insecurity, his fear that he couldn’t live his own life, that he would always be doing what someone else told him: following orders. He picked up Cass’ second saber and clipped it to his belt. She would want it. He understood some of her conflict from her duel with Malicos. She’d seen the merit in having a second weapon.

Though he was alone in the workshop, Cal said, “Having someone else help you see the path you can walk doesn’t make it any less yours. What that woman did to you was horrible, but you can keep going for yourself. And so can I.”

Cal wiped his face with one hand and dug into the drawers under the counter. Rows and rows of Force crystals, each glittering with a different light at its core, certainly organized, but by no system Cal could discern. He sunk his Force back into himself and pulled on the thread with his crystal. His fingers curled over a yellow one. It carried an echo, a memory of Cass’ father.

_ “Who are you?” _

He almost laughed. Had her father Sensed a connection between them? Had he known that one day Cal would find the workshop? “Well, I suppose we’ll never know.” He closed the drawers and arranged the tools he needed. He would make his lightsaber and then bring Cere to the workshop so she could do hers.

And then he’d find Cass and make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤔 Anyone wanna guess why Cass' father called her "Sai" in his recording?


	26. Chapter 26

Cal’s palmed itched and his heart was located somewhere in his throat as Greez brought the Mantis down on Dathomir. Cass’ second saber was like a brand where it sat on his hip, shorter but just as heavy as his own lightsaber hilt. His. One that he made himself with a crystal her father had known was significant. Cere hadn’t commented on the yellow blade when he showed her, hadn’t said much of anything as she took in the workshop and repaired her own weapon.

The airlock hissed and Cal skipped down the gangway while it was still extending. He was jogging across the stone bridge to the plateau with the Nightbrother village when he spotted Cass coming toward him, BD-1 on her shoulder. They met with a collision of Force energy that made the air crackle and buffet around them. Cal held her tightly, stumbling over his apology. “I’m so sorry. I killed you, then I didn’t, then you were gone,  _ gone _ and I was alone and scared and I ran and I left you. I’m so sorry. I abandoned you, I-”

She looked up at him, their eyes blue and earnest and wet with too many emotions. She cupped his cheek with her bare hand and it scalded him, twice as hot as the red sun. “I forgive you.”

Words piled out of his mouth without consulting his brain, but he wouldn’t take them back if he could because nothing had ever felt so true in his life. “I love you.”

Cass sucked in a breath, sharp and hard. The words were reflected in her eyes, in the single tear slipping down each cheek. They were there and present and obvious, but trapped behind a barrier, a figurative tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth because if he was raised a Jedi, if he hadn’t know love until it beat him over the head and dragged him to a cliff, she was raised a Sith and love may as well have been a myth. 

Cass leaned in, stepped up on her tiptoes and kissed him with words she couldn’t say. It was small, dry and piercing. Piercing and injecting him with liquid fire that burned the tears from his eyes and vaporized the cold dread in his gut that he was loving in a vacuum. Cal drank in as much of it as he dared before gasping for breath and pressing his face just under her chin, arms tight around her back. 

“Are you okay?” He murmured.

“Yes.”

“You were gone.”

“ _ You _ were gone.”

BD-1 beeped on Cass’ shoulder and headbutted Cal.

“Got back from where?”

Cass pulled back just enough that they could look at each other. “The test… backfired. I was flung into a wall and badly concussed. BD went for help, but you were gone when he returned with Sister Merrin.”

Cal lifted his hand and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. “That wasn’t the test. I attacked you.”

You reacted to the test.” She squeezed his arm. “I will not argue with you about this. If this is the worst injury I suffer from the trial of healing my Life Force, I will count myself fortunate. Sister Merrin was able to put me to rights.”

“Sister Merrin? The Nightsister that attacked us?”

She pulled away, then and Cal leaned toward her like a moth drawn to a flame. Cass tugged on his arm. “Yes. Come. She was grateful that we disposed of Malicos.”

“That’s- Wait, aren’t you going to ask where I went?” Now separated, stress pricked along his skin like marching ants, like one wrong word and it would all disappear.

“If it matters, I know you will tell me,” she said like it was that simple. Like he didn’t have to justify abandoning her on a hostile world that may or may not be one giant illusion. She looked at him over her shoulder when he stopped walking. “Are  _ you _ well?”

“What? Me? Yes, I- I broke my lightsaber. In the test. It wasn’t even mine. It was Master Tapal’s. I went to Ilum and made a new one.” He held the hilt out to her.

Expertly testing the balance, she held it out on one palm before moving it through a series of double-bladed kata. In a move Cal couldn’t follow, she split the hilt into two behind her back and ended with them aimed into a blocking cross in front of her chest. She reattached the halves and held it out to him. “Very well made, considering you are not an artificer.”

After swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Cal held out her second hilt to trade for his. He could clearly remember the Force echo tied to it. The grief, anger and derision that made him weaken like the wounds were in his own back. “I found… your father’s workshop.”

Her hand hovered over the hilt for long moments. When she took it, her fingers plucked it gingerly out of his hand before closing tightly around it. She held it against her chest and took a shuddering breath, eyes closed. “Thank you. That was… The first place I went, once I was free. It was too soon for me to…”

“It’s okay. I listened to his message, too. I’m sure he would understand.” Cal pressed his forehead against her temple. He wanted to kiss her again. Kiss her forever. But that didn’t feel right, didn’t feel comforting enough.

“It is too late to ever know.”

“Shhh. Remember when we met? I told you, then. You were the most important thing in his life.”

“Then why did he die for something else?” She snarled.

Cal was still trying to formulate an answer, or at least a response, when his Force intuition sent him a warning. In a flash, he had Cass shielded behind him and his saber lit in defense.

The Nightsister materialized in front of him and gestured for him to lower his weapon. She glanced around him to Cass. “There you are. When you did not return, I feared you had fainted.” She put her eyes on Cal. “Cal Kestis. I am Sister Merrin. You have my thanks for ridding this world of that… scourge.”

Cal deactivated his saber and returned the hilt to his belt. “He was corrupted. Twisted. I’m sorry he hurt you. Thank you for helping Cass.”

“Cassandra has been most helpful.” It had never occurred to Cal that ‘Cass’ might be a nickname, but he had to assume from her aggrieved sigh that it was. “She is able to read the Sisters’ ancient texts and has translated for me.”

“How many languages do you speak?” Cal asked.

“It is a fork of ancient Sith. If it had come from Iridonian, I would have been useless.” Cass smoothed her hands down her leathers, though there were no wrinkles. “I told Sister Merrin we would help her acquire a ship so that she can begin rebuilding here.”

“That’s a good idea, though I don’t know how we’ll do that. We have time to figure it out, I guess.”

“Cal, I am the heir to three thousand years of Sith legacy. I can simply purchase one.”

“...Or that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who wants... a casstis playlist?


	27. Chapter 27

Kujet’s tomb was no less ominous the second time. The ceiling loomed high enough that it disappeared into the dimness. Tendrils of Force clung to them as they proceeded toward the testing door. BD-1 was a comforting, steady weight on Cal’s shoulder. His footsteps echoed loudly, a sharp contrast to Cass’ silent movements. He decided he would need to learn the technique from her at some point. Warmth bloomed in his chest as he realized that he had all of the time in the galaxy to ask her.

“Are you prepared to face the challenge again? There may be a way to modify how it perceives you.” She stood at his shoulder, head tilted up to read the engravings again.

He touched the back of her hand, then curled his fingers around hers. “I figured it out, on Ilum. We decide who we are. Maybe sometimes that means we’re walking down a path someone else laid down, but in the end, we always have a choice. Cordova set up this mission and Cere passed it on to me. I’m going to open the Vault, but after that… It’s not what they intended. It’s what I think is right.”

She squeezed his fingers, then decided it wasn’t enough and pulled him into a hug. “You are a good person. I am glad you found me.”

“Me too, Cass.”

The doors seemed so benign, with the feeling of her arms around him, with the secure knowledge in his mind. It felt like picking up his yellow crystal. Inevitable, but ultimately, his choice. With his head held high, he pressed his hand to the door. Instead of crashing into his chest, the feeling was like a whisper slowly growing louder until it rang like a great bell. He turned away from the door and saw Not-Cass standing there with one eyebrow raised and her hands on her hips.

“You came back. I suppose one cannot expect a trained monkey-lizard to do anything other than the tricks it has been taught.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder with a hand tipped with blood-red fingernails.

“Does Cass even know what those are?”

“Cheeky. The loth-cat has learned how to bite.”

“That’s enough. It’s time for us to move on, Cass.”

“I will not go anywhere with the likes of you.”

Cal turned his back to her, returning to the door. “Then I’ll go without you.”

The vision faded as he touched the door. It slid open, eerily soundless as the heavy stone moved. He took a deep breath. On his shoulder, BD chirped and whistled.

“Thanks little buddy.”

“BD is right. That was well done.” She laced their fingers together and they stepped into the tomb proper. Inside was even more lavish, with deep reds and sparkling gold gilding. While the air was still heavy with the Force, it lacked the oppressive malice of the outer chamber and surrounding area. 

“Why is it so different in here?”

Cass made a considering noise. “There are many factors, but the most probable answer is that Kujet’s followers and the supplicants that came after became progressively more radicalized. When they came on pilgrimages and to pay respects, the different intent is what left remnants outside. Whereas, here inside the tomb only true believers were able to enter.”

Retrieving the astrium was anticlimactic after everything they went through to get to it. Cal just… plucked it out of the wall and held it out to Cass. “Is it a solar key?”

She turned it over in her hands before passing it back to him. “Yes. There seems to be a Force component, but it may just be a connection with the lock. It does not matter. What next?”

“I guess we get the holocron, buy Merrin her ship and then teach some kids how to hide.” They shared a smile and walked back to the Mantis, hand in hand. 

\---

On Bogano, Cal entered the Vault alone. Cere remained on the Mantis with Greez, Trilla and Merrin. Cass waited just outside, on watch for any Inquisitors, despite Trilla’s insistence that no one in the Empire knew where Bogano was. Well, not completely alone. BD-1 rode on his shoulder, telling him stories about Cordova that he remembered how that the encryption on his memory logs was broken by the astrium’s retrieval. 

He splashed through the water that had fallen in through the Vault’s open top and stopped at the center. BD beeped.

“Yeah, this is it.” He knelt and placed the astrium in the slot. The floor shook as ancient mechanisms came to life. Overhead, a great band of metal curved before sinking back into the structure. “This whole thing is built like a giant holocron.”

Despite the changes, no platform rose, nor did a door open. Instead one of the walls had shifted to reveal a panel that looked both like a mirror… and somehow not. “Look at that.” BD agreed. “Yeah, let’s check it out.”

He touched the glossy surface and felt the sharp pull as he was taken into another vision. He was on a stone bridge surrounded by Zeffo statues. Nothing seemed to exist beyond them and the light didn’t seem to have a source. He heard a voice speaking a strange language. Though he didn’t know the words, it was as if someone was whispering a translation in his ear.

“I offer this record of our civilization to those who will follow.”

“Cass needs to see this.”

“Despite our wisdom and technological achievement, we face extinction. Dogma blinded us to the path of balance and gradually we allowed our pride to corrupt us.”

At the end of the bridge Cal faced… A real Zeffo? It towered over him and continued speaking.

“The greater control we sought, the further we fell into ruin. I lead the remnants of my people into the great unknown, hoping that we will finally find peace.” With those last words, the Zeffo crumbled, as if it had always been a statue. 

Cal let the vision take him forward, then. He saw himself collecting the children on Cordova’s list. Saw himself and Cere teaching them the ways of the Force and creed of the Jedi. “This can’t be the future,” Cal said to himself, though he couldn’t hear his own voice in the grasp of the vision. “Is it trying to tell me I’m wrong?”

He moved forward at a jog, brushing past his own shoulders and tripping over his trailing robes. Countless scenes of lessons and training he passed before it changed. The Empire found them. Troopers with blasters and worse hunting his students like animals until all Cal could hear were their screams. At last, he was faced by an Inquisitor. No. By a  _ Sith. _ Suddenly, he understood all of Cere’s misgivings about Cass. The way the Sith spoke to him, moved, fought, all of it was like a sharper, more dangerous version of the woman he loved. 

He stood strong, holding his yellow lightsaber up defensively. “I won’t let you hurt them.”

“You never had a chance.”

And then the floor dropped out from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO YO YO WE'RE ALMOST DONE.
> 
> Let me know what you think is gonna happen next.
> 
> Also check out this ADORABLE [ art of Cass and Cal by XMRomalia](https://twitter.com/RomaliaXenoMaha/status/1228298192669814784?s=20)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO WE'RE DONE
> 
> Please let me know what your favorite part of the story was :3
> 
> [Here's my Casstis playlist for your listening pleasure.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1w8Is7z1CzRo4Ui7JkFVKL?si=BC28cbeOR8Kkx1CuyMIGug)

Warmth and comfort: Cal felt like he was floating. He inhaled and realized he was curled up in a soft bed under a heavy blanket. Sleepiness muted his senses, but he didn’t care. He was more comfortable and relaxed than he could remember being in a long time. Then someone shook his shoulder gently. He tried to ignore it and the way his sleepy lassitude trickled away. They shook him again, still gentle, affectionate. The hand moved to his cheek and he couldn’t stop the way he leaned into it. He made a displeased sound even as he nuzzled the hand.

His reward was a soft, unmistakable chuckle: Cass. She said, “Wake up, dear one.”

Dear one. He liked that. Without opening his eyes, he said, “No, comfy.”

“I know, but you mustn’t be late.”

“Murrr, fine.”

She kissed his forehead, lips soft and warm, and then left in a whisper of fabric. Resigned to the day, Cal opened his eyes and stretched. The bed was plush and comfy, the bedding a rich burgundy that held warmth against his skin without letting him overheat. He wouldn’t expect anything less from Cass. He could see his clothes from the bed: complicated robes in heavy grey and white.

Muttering wordless protest at being awake, he got dressed, enjoying the feel of expensive fabric on his skin. As he woke up, he realized he was on a ship, though he couldn’t place why that was significant. His lightsaber sat on his hip like an extension of his body. He felt calm, like a still lake at the edge of winter: thawed, but still free of scutting, fresh life. He wrinkled his nose at the analogy. Something felt off about the morning. Maybe it was that Cass left before him.

Cal let his feet walk on autopilot to wherever he was supposed to be. Probably the bridge, though he didn’t let his sleepy brain take over. A mousedroid whirred ahead of him and he passed several of the ship’s crew, all dressed in red and white. He hoped he wasn’t too late, but he didn’t think he was. If he’d been in danger of that, Cass would have dragged him out of bed and thrown his clothes at him until he was ready to go. He smiled. He’d have to test that some time. She was adorable when she was flustered.

Then the alarms started.

A low siren and a calm voice over the PA instructing all staff to battle stations. Cal’s nostrils flared with his heavy breathing, but he didn’t run, not quite. A fast walk with a few skipped steps and a generous application of Force. He met Cass on the bridge, just as a holocall winked out, replaced by the enlarged head of a navy captain. 

“My lord,” the image said and the first crack appeared under Cal’s feet.

“Report,” Cass replied. Her marks were back, but they weren’t  _ her _ marks, they covered both sides of her face and spoke of a terrifying depth of power. A second crack.

“A capital ship just dropped out of hyperspace.”

“Who has a capital ship? Mandalore?” She sneered the name.

Cal swallowed. 

“Unknown, my lord; they aren’t responding to our hails.”

Before Cass could respond, a real crack appeared in the floor. Cal jumped back just as it caved in. Several brown-robed figures jumped up from the lower level. His gut turned to ice. He recognized one of them. Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi. 

Kenobi raised his saber at Cass. “Stand down, Silence.”

She grinned, sharp and dangerous, and drew a single lightsaber. “You should know better than to give me orders, Jedi.” The red blade activated and cast harsh shadows on her face.

“Your reign ends here!”

She laughed, each sound like molten shrapnel. “I am the culmination of an unbroken chain of three thousand years of Sith legacy! You are nothing to me.”

“Remind me how the Sith code goes,” Obi-wan said. “Through victory  _ your _ chains are broken, isn’t?”

Cass leapt at him with a snarl and when their sabers met, they released a blast of Force.

Cal staggered away from the wall in the Vault. Breath heavy in his chest, he stared between his hand and the shiny surface. BD-1 whistled a question and hopped back up onto his back.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. This must be how Cordova knew the Purge was coming. Access the Vault, get a vision.”

BD-1 beeped and booped.

“No, nothing like Dathomir. I’m fine.” He turned and saw the holocron hovering over where he had inserted the astrium. He licked his lips, but plucked it out of the air without further hesitation. It was warm and humming with the Force in his hand. He couldn’t feel any echoes clinging to it, but that was for the best.

He squeezed himself out of the tight opening to the Vault and touched Cass’ shoulder before he even really saw her. “Hey.”

She looked up at him with blue eyes that saw too much. “Another vision?”

“You were right. If Cere and I try to rebuild the Order now, it’ll be a disaster.” He pulled her into a hug. “Teaching them how to hide themselves is the best thing. I already believed you. It only hurt to see it.”

She nodded and held him in return.

Cal pulled away, just enough to look her in the eye. “But there’s more. It showed… It supposed that if I did try that you… That you’d go back. Go back and take power as a Sith.”

She didn’t immediately reassure him and that calmed his racing heart more than anything. She was considering the possibility, not rushing to deny it. She was giving it real thought, respecting his fears, no matter how far-fetched they seemed.

“I can see the possibility… That if you betrayed me, I would give up on hope. My heart is… so fragile and if it were to break, each shard would be more than deadly. And I have let you, alone, hold it because I know you cannot betray me in any way that matters.”

Cal swallowed the lump in his throat and touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “That’s… That’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy.”

“It might be, but you misunderstand. It is not that you will not. I said you cannot and I meant it. The weight lays on your past actions and the depth of your own heart, not on things that are yet to come.” She stood on her toes and kissed him, just the lightest brush. “Or more accurately, if less romantically, I know in my soul that you are an idiot.”

Cal choked on a laugh.”

“You are such an idiot that any knife in my back is out of ignorance, not malice.” Her face was stony and serious for only one beat before she laughed with him.

“Did you just make a joke?!” His question just sent them both into renewed peals of relieved laughter. They kissed and held each other’s faces like it was the end of the galaxy, but the truth was that it was just the beginning. He pressed their foreheads together. “Are you ready?”

“For what?”

“The rest of our lives.”

“Always, with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, thanks for reading! Please leave a comment with your favorite part!
> 
> Followup eventually™

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [discord](https://discord.gg/ynkttur), [tumblr](https://tk-duveraun.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/duveraun)!


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